Beyond Reason
by mjp248
Summary: Haley starts her first year of university, after an amazing summer with an older man Lucas only to find that Lucas is her professor. While dealing with the temptations, she has to deal with a new love, Lucas' brother Nathan.
1. Chapter 1

Okay. So this story is going to be my well planned story. There was a pretty good description outside... so all that I ask of you guys is to PLEASE review... im begging you... lol... Thanks!

Michelley P.

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Chapter One

Could I Forget About The Way It Feels To Touch You? Or All About The Good Times That We've Been Through? The Kiss That Always Makes It Hard To Breathe? The Way You Know Just What I Mean?

_I Just Can't Live A Lie- Carrie Underwood_

She breathed in the sweet atmosphere of her new classroom, she was finally here. After a long, amazing summer, she was finally sitting in the seat she had dreamt about. Here she was, in Stanford University. She looked around at all the empty seats, laughing at herself for coming so early. But she had been so eager to get back into the school routines, to try and make herself forget about the summer, and to try to remember who she was. She was a smart girl, a quiet girl, a shy girl, but she had certainly managed to break those barriers this summer.

She wondered what her parents would think of her now. The last time she had spoken to them, they hadn't been so proud of her, but she was here now and back to herself, would they be proud now? Maybe, but Haley knew that her parents would never truly admit how ashamed they were of her. And in Haley's mind, it wasn't that big of a deal.

She opened the book in front of her and got out her pen, as random students made their ways into the classroom. Some carrying heavy loads, some bringing nothing at all. Some excited, some bored, and some terrified. She couldn't help but wonder if any of them felt as at home as she did.

Two girls sat behind her, and though Haley wasn't usually the stereotypical type, she could see what kind of girls they were, not exactly Stanford material. They were both really pretty, and sitting directly in the seats behind her, made her feel terribly uncomfortable. One girl, with blond curly hair sat almost quietly, sort of ignoring her friend, while she drew on her notebook. The other girl, talked quickly and excitedly about how she had _heard_ that the teacher was supposed to be some kind of hot shot. Of course, she emphasized the hot.

Haley couldn't help but listen. She was humorous, a brunette, a girl who would have definitely been head cheerleader back in Haley's old school. She didn't want to judge, but she really was starting to not like her at all.

"Ladies." A male voice roared behind her. The brunette begun to laugh pathetically as the guy sat next to her. "I hope this seat wasn't taken." Haley heard him say.

"Not a chance!" The brunette giggled again. "Brooke Davis." She said, and in the corner of Haley's eye she noticed as Brooke reached out and shook the man's hand. "And you are?"

"Nathan Scott." He smirked back. Haley begged herself to not even notice them. But before she knew it, her head was turning and she was looking back at the handsomest man she had ever seen. He had dark hair and amazing eyes, a build like an athlete. She turned again quickly, and took a deep breath. She swore she'd hold back on any romance this year. It was her year to shine in school, in a way she _had_ in highschool, but in a way that had gone unnoticed. She truly didn't need any distractions. This was her first English class of the year, and though she had struggled a little with English in highschool, she had planned on doing much better this year.

"Peyton Sawyer." The other girl responded as the Nathan held out his hand to her. Haley almost laughed out loud at Peyton, she actually seemed bored around such a hot shot.

"So Brooke, what was this you were telling me about the _hot_ professor?" Peyton teased.

"Who?" Brooke genuinely seemed confused, like all it took was another hot man to get the other off of her mind.

Peyton laughed a little, "That's what I thought."

More students piled into the classroom, as the seats around her became filled and the other voices drowned out the sounds of the girls behind her. Haley looked down at her wrist, at the bracelet the dangled across her desk, and sighed. She missed _him_. That only person she had ever met that spoke like her, understood her, and really made her fall for him. She_ missed_ him. And she really wished he could have been with her now. But the last time she heard from him, he had to take a new job somewhere out west, and as far as she was concerned, she wouldn't see him again. She wished she had known she'd be here, before the summer ended. But when he left Haley wasn't even sure if she'd get here, due to finances, and she didn't really feel like sharing that with him. So right now, she didn't know where he was, and he didn't know where she was. And that was how her parents liked it.

"Alright!" A voice boomed in the front of the room. "I know I'm late, but can you please settle down?" It roared again. Haley stopped playing with the bracelet on her wrist and stared at the front of the room, her heart in her throat.

"It doesn't look like we'll get much done today, but this is a fairly small class, so why don't we just all get acquainted?" Haley couldn't see his face well, because of the tall gentleman sitting directly in front of her, but now and then the guy would slump down in his seat, and she'd get a glimpse of the professor's blond hair, bobbing around.

"Oh god Brooke, you were right, he's hot." Peyton whispered as Haley's heart began to pound at the sight of him.

"That's my brother." Nathan groaned, and ducked down in his seat.

"My name is Lucas Scott, but I guess that'll be Mr. Scott to you guys." He smiled. The guy in front of Haley slumped down more and pulled his ball cap way down over his eyes, already finding himself bored with the class, and Haley got a full view of what she was dealing with here.

_There he is,_ Haley thought, as she grabbed the bracelet on her wrist again. She looked around for an exit, not being able to believe this was happening. Lucas was continuing with the introductions, there was a Tim, a Glenda and a Jimmy in her class... but as Haley began to panic, the sounds of everyone else's voices became muffled. She looked up at him again, those eyes, and that mouth. His arms and legs, his whole body, made her weak. It was supposed to be her year, no distractions, but it was too late, he had ruined it all. Really, what would her parents think?

"Ha..." Mr. Scott's voice trailed off. She watched him swallow hard and almost stop breathing, and she knew that there was no use in trying to get out now, he knew she was there, and he remembered everything that happened that summer just as well as she did. It wasn't a dream, but it could possibly be a nightmare.

"Haley... James." He finally got out. He looked around and Haley slowly raised her hand to show she was there. Scanning the room, he finally found her, and there was a long pause. Finally he cleared his throat, becoming professional once more.

"It's good to have you in the class, Ms. James." He spoke softly, smiling at her. Her heart raced again when he smiled, and she couldn't help but smile back.

Haley raced out of the class amongst the crowd. She could see him looking around, trying to find her, but she ducked between the people and finally found a comfort zone outside the classroom. She pressed her back against the wall around the corner and let go of the breath she had been holding ever since he entered the classroom. How was this possible? How could he be where she was? And most importantly, why did they both have to be in a position where it was so forbidden? 

She ran her fingers through her hair, and as she licked her lips she could have sworn she could still taste him. Though she knew they'd never be together again, there was a feeling in her stomach that told her that no matter what, she'd always feel the same way about him. She wondered if this would be one of those things, that would start out so innocent but suddenly cross the line. But she promised herself it wouldn't be like that, she swore that her education would come first, and she wouldn't let a little thing like love come in the way.

* * *

"Yes, Gram." Haley sighed. She laid back on her bed, with her room door sightly cracked open. She could hear the other people moving in hurriedly, and smiled at how organized she had been about her moving, and how quickly she had gotten in.

"The dorm is fine." She reassured her grandmother, "No, no boys on my floor. I won't. I know. In my building? I don't think so." She sat up and looked out in the hall where she could hear two girls giggling loudly. "I'm going to go. Yes Gram, I'll call you tomorrow." Laying down her phone, she peaked around the corner of the door to see the blond and brunette from class earlier that day standing right next to her door.

Brooke pushed the door open and looked in at her, with a huge grin on her face, "is your grandma afraid that you might talk to a boy while you're away at college?" She laughed, "It's okay, don't worry, you just tell Grammy that we'll keep her little princess as innocent as a..." She searched around for a word, her smile fading as she thought hard.

"As a what?" Haley interrupted her thoughts. "I mean, you got into Stanford but you can't think of a simple word to use?"

"Brooke doesn't need brains!" Peyton laughed, wrapping her arm around Brooke's shoulders, as Brooke laughed loudly again, "She just needs to keep sleeping with the Dean, and she'll pass her courses with flying colors."

"Really?" Haley said, not too surprised, "Well aren't you lucky, you didn't even have to work hard to get into this school... not like the rest of us!" she said with sarcasm. She could see Brooke start to quiet down, so she turned her attention from Brooke to Peyton.

"What about you?" She nodded at her, "How'd you get in here?" Peyton stepped into Haley room and looked around.

She shrugged, "Guess I'm smart." She smiled. Haley didn't say anything for awhile, she just looked at Peyton who actually seemed to be taking interest in her, and even though Haley had just shot down her best friend, and her somewhat... Peyton was still being generally kind.

Haley looked around, a little uncomfortable, "I'm Haley." She finally said in a quiet voice.

"Peyton." She smiled back. "Well, we're just across the hall so... feel free to drop by at any time."

"Or drop dead at anytime, whatever." Brooke sneered. Haley shot her a look as Peyton pushed her out the door, mouthing 'I'm Sorry.'

* * *

"... but it didn't matter how much Prufrock wanted the companionship, because in the end he was too shy to even try." Mr. Scott went on to explain in the first real English class. He glanced around the class, wondering if anyone was really paying attention to him. He had loved English his whole life, and he was finally teaching it in the context he had always wanted to. When this year started, he has so many expectations. He was twenty nine years old, the youngest in his faculty, and had so much to learn from the other teachers and the students.

But the day that he walked in this class, was the day it had all changed. Not only because he'd be teaching his brother and his friends, who seemed as old as he did, but, he'd be teaching Haley James. He took a deep breath at the sight of her listening to him passionately in the back of his class. Haley James. He honestly thought that when he left her behind last summer, it'd be the last he would see of her, but here he was, standing in the same room as she, but could he even so much as hold her hand? No.

"Um..." he started again, looking at the back of the class where Haley was. He made eye contact with her quickly and then searched for something more to say to the class, praying that having her there wouldn't alter his teaching skills, and that his love for her wouldn't outweigh his love for English. "For the next couple weeks we will be discussing Prufrock, and I'm hoping that you will all contribute more to this class." he looked around, knowing that it was doubtful. "Does anyone have an views about Prufrock now?"

"I just don't understand." A small voice said. "What exactly was Prufrock's problem?"

"Prufrock's problem was that he was aging, and still couldn't find love." Lucas answered.

"No." Another voice chimed in. Lucas's heart began to race as he heard her speak for the first time in over a month.

"No?" He questioned her in a very shaky voice.

"No." She replied back, she looked him right in the eye, wishing she hadn't said anything. He was the teacher and who was she to contradict his points? But he was Lucas, and she knew he'd take them into consideration, "his problem wasn't that he couldn't _find_ love, but at first, that he was too high maintenance, and truly, he was too shy and self conscious to go near any woman. He always thought about the love he'd like to have, but he was so afraid of that love, that he ended up convincing himself that it wouldn't work." Everyone stared at her, and Brooke giggled behind her, but her and Lucas continued their staring contest, even as the bell rang and the students made their way out of the class.

Lucas could tell she finally wanted to speak to him, and he knew they should. So as she got up to leave, slowly walking to the front of the room, they both waited for the rest of the students to completely leave the classroom view, and Lucas shut the door.

They both just stood there, looking at one another.

"I can't believe you're here." Lucas finally broke the silence. Haley slowly walked towards him, as if some sort of magnetic force was pulling her. She got closer to him than she should have, and slid her books onto his desk.

"Is this going to be... a problem?" She asked honestly, with a desperate look on her face.

"Us? I like to believe we're not the problem," Lucas smiled, "but that everything else around us is the problem."

She laughed at him, and between them she hooked her index finger with his thumb, wishing she hadn't, but knowing that there was no way she would be able to fight it, she needed to touch him, to breathe him in. "Doubtful." She said in a quiet voice.

Lucas took a deep breath, trying to control himself around her. He looked around, at the empty courtyard outside the window, and the closed door and empty class. Finally, he placed his hand on the side of her neck, pulling her closer and looking at her intensely.

Haley felt a numbing sensation going through her body when he touched her, and her breaths got shorter. Without delay, she plunged towards him, her mouth colliding with his. Such a relieved feeling swept through her body, that it almost felt like they had just broke this huge barrier between them. As if for the past couple days there had been a glass wall, blocking them from each other, but now the wall had broken and they could do whatever they wanted.

"I've missed you so much." He whispered into her neck breathlessly as he lifted her on top of his desk.

"Oh..." She moaned, arching her neck back, "me too." She felt his fingers making their way up her skirt, tracing circles on her thigh. And she pulled away for a minute. "Luke. We can't be doing this."

He sighed, squeezing her thigh and kissing the side of her mouth. "I know. I'm sorry."

"Don't be." She smiled at him, holding his face in her hands. She looked around, and then leaned down and kissed him one last time. This time, it was soft and slow, passionate.

"I love you, Haley." He sighed, resting his head on her shoulder. But Haley just slid off of the desk and landed in front of him.

She looked at him, and he knew what she was thinking. He had told her he loved her so many times, and she had never once said it back. But it was okay for him, because he knew she wasn't really ready for that.

"I have to go." she whispered, her chin quivering. She squeezed his hand and let go slowly as she walked past him. He just nodded and let out a long breath, astonished.

* * *

There you go. It gets better. Can You PLEASE review: D

Michelley P.


	2. Chapter 2

Here's Chapter Two!

Thank you guys SO much for the AWESOME reviews... so here... lets keep 'er goin: )

Michelley P.

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Chapter Two

Everybody, put up your hands say I don't want to be in love, I don't want to be in love. To the beat now, if you've got nothing left, say I don't wanna be in love, I don't wanna be in love.

_Good Charlotte- Dance Floor Anthem _

Back at her dorm, she could hear the music blasting from the rooms across the hall. She could actually hear Brooke's laughter over the music, and an unfamiliar male voice from inside the room. Haley shook her head, once again proving herself right. She was sure she had Brooke figured out, what kind of girl she was - sleeping with the Dean, flirting with nameless guys and dying for attention from teachers. Brooke Davis was the exact opposite of Haley and Haley prayed that she'd be able to avoid any real confrontations with her for the rest of the year.

Haley took out her book and begun the read, but found it extremely difficult with the music outside. She wondered if she should just go across the hall and ask Brooke to turn it down. But Haley knew she wouldn't, she could dream of marching over and standing her ground but she knew she never would.

"Haley?" She heard Peyton's voice, along with a small knock on her door.

"It's open." Haley shouted back. She watched as Peyton slowly walked into the room and stood by the door, which she had closed behind her. She had looked sad and alone, and Haley shut her book to address the problem more.

"I can't go over there right now..." Peyton laughed as she wiped a stray tear from her eye, "Brooke seems busy." Her laugh seemed forced, like she was trying to appear fine, though Haley knew she wasn't.

"Everything okay?" Haley asked, she nodded towards the bed for Peyton to sit down, but Peyton chose the desk chair instead. Peyton sat all the way across the room like she was afraid to be talking to Haley, because she was a stranger or something.

"I don't bite." Haley smiled. Peyton just stared at her and finally smiled and nodded.

"I can't be so sure of that just yet." Peyton laughed.

"I understand." Haley smiled back, "are you okay?" she asked again as she watched another tear fall from Peyton's chin.

"Yeah." she said with a tight smile. She looked around the room. "You're really... organized." Peyton said in amazement.

"It's a sickness." Haley laughed. "I was actually just going to hit the library, care to join me?"

"Wow... that sounds..." Peyton wondered how Haley would take this, since she didn't know her well, buts he said it anyway, "really boring." But Haley just laughed and Peyton sighed with relief.

"Yeah well..." she just shrugged.

"There is actually a party, across town, I was wondering if you were going. It's a Stanford thing, you know? For everyone to become acquainted." Peyton seemed more cheerful, and Haley still couldn't help but wonder what was on her mind.

"I'm not much of a partier." Haley admitted.

"So you're going to hit the library instead?" Peyton said, seemingly amused.

"Umm..." Haley wondered if things were going to be just like highschool here, would she be the smart outsider that never attended parties, unless it was for a book club? Would she be the one no one noticed? She remembered that Lucas had liked those things about her, but she wasn't sure if it was who she wanted to be all over again. "Yeah." She nodded, doubted herself.

"That's cool, whatever." Peyton smiled, she stood up as she heard the music outside calm down and the man leave Brooke's room. "I'll see you later I guess." Peyton smiled and waved.

"Peyton?" Haley stopped her, she couldn't believe she was considering this, but she went away with it anyway. Peyton turned around and raised her eyebrows at her, waiting for her to continue. "Where's the party? I mean, maybe I'll drop by later, after the library." Peyton smiled at her.

"I can pick you up." Haley nodded at her and Peyton left. Sitting alone in her room, she begun to feel terrified. What would she do at a party, she wouldn't know how to act or what to wear. She had never forced herself into one of these social scenes before, and all she could think was that she was setting herself up for a really bad experience. But she remembered the outfit her sister Taylor had given her before she came here, and was actually happy that she'd be able to put it to good use.

* * *

At the library, Haley found it extremely difficult to concentrate. She kept thinking of the party she was soon going to attend, and the outfit she was wearing. The jeans were fine, and it wasn't even as tacky as she thought it'd be, with the nice tank top, but the heels were actually killing her, and the sound of the librarian outback organizing was making it that much more difficult to concentrate.

She heard a crash of books, and heard him mutter, '_dammit.'_ She was taken aback. Shocked that she had been sitting here for over an hour, listening to him flopping around out there, and had no idea who it was. The empty library almost seemed as forbidden as their relationship had been, and she wondered if she should leave before he noticed. Buts he knew that a casual relationship would have to be established, and since they were alone now, she might as well give it a shot.

"Hey..." She smiled at the doorway to the stock room. "Mr. Scott." She finished. It seemed so strange to be saying that, as if even those words suggested something so much more.

"Haley." he said, startled. He walked towards her, and she laughed at the mess of books that had apparently fallen from the top of the stock pile, and were now scattered around their feet.

"Having some difficulty?" She smiled, nodding towards the books. Be he had his eyes fixated on her, and her new outfit, as he let out a deep sigh.

"Somewhat." he said, licking his lips. She realized what he was looking at, and folded her arms in front of her chest. "Going someplace special?" He asked, and she could see the wonder in his eyes, the other questions he wanted to ask, like who'd be there and how late she'd stay out. It bothered her a little, because sometimes it seemed like things her father would ask her, and certainly not things someone her own age would ask. She hated how evident their age difference was, reminding herself of why her parents had been so disappointed. Ten years is a lot when you're as young as Haley, but when it came to the two of them together, it felt like they were only ten minutes apart.

"There's a party down town or something. Peyton asked me to go." Haley nodded.

"Peyton Sawyer?" He added, and she nodded. "Which means my brother will probably be there, since he "rolls" with that crowd." Lucas smirked at his brother's word choice.

"Nathan right?" Haley asked, remembering that Nathan had mentioned it to Brooke and Peyton on their first day of class.

"Yeah. Try and stay away from him okay? He's sort of a... delinquent" Lucas whispered.

"Kay." Haley responded. "If he's such a delinquent, than what's he doing where at Stanford?" Lucas looked up at Haley, the fact that they had never really talked about their families becoming apparent.

"His father has money... he'd get anywhere." Lucas shot out. Haley could hear the resentment in his voice, and decided not to touch the subject anymore. These personal conversations were not the kind that a student would have with a teacher. But Lucas reached out and wiped the back of his hand across her cheek., staring at her longingly.

"What are we going to do, Haley?" Haley stared at him, and was ready to speak, when she heard Peyton call out to her from the entrance.

"I'm coming!" she called back.

"I've never been in one of these places before." they heard Brooke gasp. "It's disgusting." Haley laughed and looked at Lucas, who stepped back when he realized they were standing so close.

"Go on." He said quietly, "have fun with people... your own age." He choked out. It was the first time she had heard him refer to himself as anything but her own age, and the difficulty of this situation was beginning to surface. She knew she'd never be able to have another relationship around this school, whether she wanted to or not, because the history with Lucas would always be there, watching her every move. She just nodded and walked away from him, leaving him blind to her concern.

"Who were you talking to?" Peyton asked as they walked to the car.

Haley sighed and glanced back at the library, "no one."

* * *

"Wow it's really..." Haley looked at the house where the party was taking place. It was huge, with a swimming pool and all the luxuries she had never had. "Loud." she finished. Peyton laughed, but Brooke just rolled her eyes and ran ahead. It was obvious that this was exactly where Brooke liked to be, the real reasons she had come to university, was for the parties.

Inside it was crowded and smelled of cigarette smoke. "Want a drink?" Peyton smiled.

"Umm.." Haley looked around, unsure of how she was supposed to respond to that.

"I'll get you one." Peyton smiled again.

"How about we get her two?" She heard Brooke's voice. They saw Brooke standing across from them, leaning against the wall in a pose that was suppose to seem attractive. But everything about this scene was unattractive to Haley. "Let's see what damage we can do tonight."

"Brooke." Peyton groaned. "Just..." She looked at Haley and could see how uncomfortable she was around all these loud, stumbling people. "Stop."

Brooke rolled her eyes at Peyton, "She's got to come out of shell sometime."

"You don't know if she's in a shell. You don't even know her." She could see a rift appearing between the friends, and wondered if she was the cause of it, or if it was just simply a change of scenery. But standing there, looking around, she could feel her hands starting to shake. She could almost understand more why she loved her relationship with Lucas so much, there was none of this. There were no awkward college parties to attend. There was none of the foolishness that immature students went on with. There was simple chemistry that could be tamed in quiet hours alone. In simple words, and there was never anything to prove.

"Ladies! We meet again." there was a husky voice behind them. The three girls all turned around and looked at Nathan, his arms outstretched. Haley took in his appearance. He was nothing like Lucas, yet a lot like him. He was taller and broader, but had those same arms and that same jaw line. He was just as good looking, or even better, but Lucas had a fire in his eyes that she knew Nathan didn't, and no one else in the universe ever would.

"Like what you see?" He grinned as he noticed Haley looking at him.

"Are you drunk or something?" she rolled her eyes.

"Nah, I don't drink." Nathan smiled. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and the girls all looked at him with great surprise. "Oh, so you all thought I was some kind of alcoholic or something?" He spat out, seeming insulted.

"Not necessarily an alcoholic, but I thought you probably drank some..." Peyton admitted.

"Nope. Not me." He smiled as if he were proud of himself. With his chin stuck out he winked at Haley, who just scoffed and turned to Peyton.

"How about that drink?" She smiled. Peyton nodded and smiled, leading Haley through the crowd and towards a table in the kitchen. Haley looked back at Nathan, who was watching her go. The way his eyes shot through her made her lose her breath, as she replayed Lucas's words in her mind. She knew that Lucas would hate to see her even thinking of Nathan, but as he stood there behind her, the crowd flooding in and closing the distance between them, she realized that Nathan _didn't_ have that same fire in his eyes. He had a fire all his own, one that was bright and mysterious. She prayed she'd be able to tame her curiosity, for Lucas's sake at least.

Standing in the line, the loud music made her head spin. Sweat rolled down the curve of her back and she almost felt like stripping off every inch of clothing she had on. She wondered then, if it was the alcohol that made people do the stupid things they did at these parties, or simply the atmosphere. But even worst than the atmosphere, the feel of someone's hand on her elbow was almost numbing.

"Dance with me." he whispered into her ear. She could feel him breathing down her neck and its sent shivers right through her. This would be another thing she could put in her list of things the brother's had in common, their tendency to make her feel out of her element.

"I..." can't, she got ready to say. That was what she meant to say, even as she walked with him to the dance floor. As each second passed, as they danced together, she felt more and more like pushing him away. But she loved how he just danced with her. How he didn't hit on her or try anything stupid. He just danced and laughed and made her laugh. It was simple, just like Haley liked it. She reached out to pull him in, just to whisper something to him, but just touching him stung her. She remembered what Lucas had said, and most importantly, she remembered Lucas in general.

All of a sudden she missed him, and she wanted to be with him.

"I should go home." She whispered. She stepped back and looked around for Peyton.

"She left already." Nathan said from behind her. She turned and looked at him, almost afraid of him, or maybe she was just afraid of liking him. Whatever the feeling was, it didn't matter, as long as she kept it under control. "I can give you a lift." he smiled.

"Is that why you don't drink?" she sneered, "so that you can gives girls a ride home." he stepped back and looked at her, wondering why she would be so quick to judge someone she didn't even know.

"I was just offering." he said. He raised his hands in a defensive manner and back off. Sighing, Haley felt back. She could see herself letting Lucas decide who she would and wouldn't be friends with. She could see Lucas's judgements clouding her own. But in a way she didn't see why there was a problem with that, because she knew he had good judgement, and she trusted him to use it.

"Fine." She said before he disappeared completely. She was surprised that he had heard her, unless he had been listening for her to stop him. He turned around and smiled, then nodded towards the door.

"So what's your story?" Nathan blurted out. Until this point, the car ride had been quiet and uncomfortable, as the lights flashed in Haley's window and danced images across Nathan's face. She had tried to keep her eyes off of those dancing lights, but the way they outlined his face made it more tempting with every movement. She couldn't help but wonder what he thought of her. Did he see her as a geek, like they did in highschool, or something more. Of course, it didn't matter what he thought of her, because this car ride was going to be as far as their relationship went, her main focus was on Lucas.

"My story?" She repeated. She looked at him, secretly happy that she now had a good excuse to do so.

"Yeah. Like, where are you from, what are you doing here?" He smiled. He looked over at her and she could swear that he could see right through her.

"I'm from Orange County..." she started.

"The OC, very nice." he nodded, as if approving. As if it mattered that it did. But Haley could feel, from the satisfaction in her mind, that it did matter, whether she'd display that or not, was an entirely different subject.

"Yeah. And I'm here to go to school." She said plainly, sticking right with the questions he had asked her and not going into much detail. Giving out those detailed parts of your life was supposed to mean that you trusted that person and that you _wanted_ them to know all about you. She knew nothing about Nathan, except the things Lucas had told- which weren't great- and certainly didn't trust him.

"Well, you really spilled your guts there didn't you." He grinned, but she could see he was disappointed.

"What about you?" She smiled, trying to polite. He looked around the car, at the intersection sign, and stopped at the red light. The light illuminated his arms and made them look more muscular than she was sure they were. There was no way someone could be so perfect in every aspect of their appearance, unless of course he was extremely lacking in other parts. But that was a thought she pushed out of her mind, and turned her attention to his response.

"Umm, I'm from Tree Hill."

"North Carolina." She added for him, as if he didn't know.

"Yes." He nodded, "And I'm here for school as well." He was just as closed as she was, but probably purposely.

"What are you studying?" She continued, allowing the conversation to go a little further, but nowhere personal.

"Right now, general studies." he said in a quieter voice, "next year, whatever my father chooses. I'm actually just here on a basketball scholarship."

"Oh! My brother did that, not here though." She smiled, then realized she had gotten into her family life with him without even thinking.

"Really? Mine did too, but he has a heart problem- I think- and ended up teaching instead, as you've noticed." _I think_, she repeated in her head. Yes, he did, she felt like telling him but decided that showing that she knew this much about a teacher would seem to suspicious.

"Lucas, he's your brother right?" She asked, already knowing the answer.

Nathan gave her a funny look, "Yeah... are you on a first name basis with all of your teachers?" He stopped next to her door, but as he kept waiting for the answer, she couldn't find the strength to leave.

She searched for the right answer, and her nervous nature began to set in, "Yeah... I'm just a nerd I suppose."

He nodded, contemplating this, and she wondered if he knew something, if Lucas had told him something, but instead he smiled at her, "I don't think you're a nerd."

"Yeah, well, you don't know me." She smiled back.

"Can I?" He raised his eyebrows. She held her breath, Lucas flashing in her mind like the lights on a police car. She didn't know how to answer, or if she should at all, so she just smiled at him, and wondered what Lucas had thought was so bad about him, and then got out of the car. She shut the door and waved goodbye through the window as she snuck up the front stairs. Inside the building, she leaned back against the door. She was about to close her eyes, when the door behind her opened and she fell backwards, getting caught in Nathan's arms.

Getting back to her feet quickly, she turned and stared at him, "What the hell are you doing here?" She shot out.

Nathan actually laughed, which made her even more embarrassed. "I live here." he smiled.

"Oh." She looked at the sign on the wall that indicated that the male dorms were located on the floor below her's. She stood there awkwardly, but then realized that she was getting all worked up over nothing. There was no need to care where Nathan Scott lived, and no need to think of him at all. Her focus was on Lucas, whether she could be with him or not. But the truth was, ever since the first time she talked to Nathan, her focus _wasn't_ completely on Lucas, there was a small part of her mind that had Nathan embedded in it, and she couldn't get rid of it on matter how she tried.

"Goodnight, Nathan." she whispered, and walked up the stairs. Nathan just nodded and watched her walk away, all he wanted to know was why she didn't have any interest in him. But it wasn't the there wasn't any interest, but just that she seemed to be fighting the urge to be with him. It was driving him insane.

* * *

There ya go! what did you think? REVIEW PLEASE! 


	3. Chapter 3

New Chapter! Thanks SO much for the reviews: )

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Chapter Three

All You Need Is Love Is A Lie, Cause We Had Love But We Still Said Goodbye, Now We're Tired, Battered Fighters. And It Stings When It's Nobody's Fault, But There's Nothing To Blame At The Drop Of Your Name It's Only The Air You Took, And The Breath You Left.

_Split Screen Sadness- John Mayer_

Haley wakes up to the sound of knocking on her door. Before she even opened her eyes, she remembered the events of the night before. Her head was still pounding from the loud music ands he could still see Nathan standing at the bottom of those stairs as she walked away. She could see that he was interested in her, and this whole year was becoming one big mess. She wished for a time when no one looked at her the way Lucas and Nathan did. It had gone from her never getting looked at, to her having to divide her interests between two gorgeous brothers. She knew that the logical decision would be Nathan. He was her own age, while Lucas was ten years older, and her teacher. But her heart still ached for Lucas, she had spent the most incredible summer with him and now that their relationship had progressed so much, there was so much more holding them back. She remembered her mother telling her that she had grown up too fast, and maybe that was true. Maybe it was time for her to step back and look at people her own age. But that would be easier said than done. Yes, she wanted someone her own age, but she wanted Lucas to be her own age. She wanted him.

"Are you still sleeping?" A voice asked from outside her door.

"Yes. Go away." She groaned, recognizing Brooke's voice.

"Brooke... what the hell are you doing?" She heard Peyton's voice.

"My hair dryer broke." Brooke whined. Haley scoffed, or course she'd come around now, when she wanted something. Typical.

"Jesus Brooke, you're a bitch to her twenty four seven, and now you're going to ask her to do something for you?" Peyton moaned.

"Umm..." Brooke seemed to be thinking.

"Will you two go away." Haley called out.

"You want to go to breakfast with us? We're leaving in about an hour." Peyton called back.

"Yeah. Whatever." Haley yawned.

"Can I use your hair dryer?" Brooke whined again.

"No." Haley spit out. She didn't even realize that she was being just as mean to Brooke, but really, she didn't care either.

"Bitch!" Brooke complained, then slammed her door. Haley heard Peyton laugh, but her cell phone rang and the laughing stopped.

"Why are you calling again?" Haley heard Peyton's sad voice, then the voice disappeared down the hall, the mumbles eventually disappearing.

Haley laid in her bed, listening to the silence around her. She had asked for a single dorm, but not the loneliness was setting in and she was wishing that someone was here with her. She didn't care who it was, she didn't care whether she'd like them or not, as long as they kept her company, kept her mind off of Lucas. She still didn't really have a chance to talk to him, not about what they both wanted, or about what had happened that summer. She stared around her empty room, wondering if he was doing the same.

"Haley." A much calmer, smooth voice whispered. She could hear his hand against her door, nervously tapping.

"Yeah?" she answered him.

"You want to go to breakfast with us?" Haley smiled. She kept asking herself who Nathan was in highschool, was he a jock? Or the shy person he was now, around her. Whenever she saw him talking to Peyton or Brooke, he seemed so cool, so cocky. But it was like as soon as he spoke to Haley, someone he barely knew, he was quiet and shy... honest. He was just like Lucas, whether either one of them wanted to admit it or not.

"Sure." She said back. "Give me a half an hour okay?" She called again.

"'kay." he said again, she listened for his footsteps, but didn't hear any. But still there was silence, and she knew he probably dropped into Brooke's bedroom. At the first thought of this, her heart hung heavy. She told herself it wasn't because _she_ wanted him. It was simply because she didn't want Nathan to be someone he wasn't, the way he was around Brooke. She had come to the conclusion, while showering quickly and dressing, that if she had such an effect on Nathan, if he was such a good person around her, then she could help him be the person she knew Lucas wanted him to be. For a moment, she felt like she was getting ready to see Lucas, she had that same feeling of anxiousness in her stomach, but remembering that he wouldn't be there, she dried her hair and left her appearance as it was.

"No one to impress." she whispered to the mirror, sadly wishing things didn't work this way. How much longer could she go on with this? How much longer would she last before she'd _need_ to have him? She sighed, and swung open her door, only to find Nathan sitting quietly in the hall. She stood there and stared at him, as he looked up and smiled at her.

"What are you doing?" she laughed.

"Waiting for you." he yawned.

"Oh." she smiled, secretly happy that he hadn't gone into Brooke's apartment.

* * *

"So what's it like, having Lu-" Haley stopped, remembering to call Lucas, Mr. Scott. "Mr. Scott, as a brother?" Haley asked. They were walking down the street in pairs. Brooke and Peyton in front, laughing uncontrollably, as Brooke often looked back and gave Haley a deadly glare. Haley could tell that Brooke wanted to be the one walking there with Nathan, and decided that soon she'd let her take her place in Nathan's life. After all, she didn't want Nathan, they were just friends, and truthfully, shouldn't have been that much. For once, Haley wanted to get on Brooke's good side. She was tired of the looks and remarks. She wanted this year to be civil, though she knew it wouldn't, not as long as Lucas was teaching her.

"I wouldn't know." Nathan scoffed. Haley looked up at him, confused. She knew Lucas had mentioned that things weren't great between them, but she was sensing a much bigger void in their relationship, and she was curious to know about the things she could never get Lucas to talk about.

"Huh?" She urged Nathan to continue.

"Umm..." Nathan laughed and scratched his head, seeming uncomfortable. Then Haley realized why. They had only been friends for a couple days, and she wouldn't be able to open up to someone like that either.

"It's okay." Haley smiled. Nathan nodded and smiled, seeming thankful that she had let it pass.

"We're just not that close." Nathan simplified. "Things actually got a little better, until this summer when he just..." Nathan searched for the words, and Haley's heart pounded, wondering if it would have anything to do with her. The she scoffed, of course it would. She could honestly feel things getting more complicated, and she knew the real reason why Lucas didn't want her having anything to do with Nathan. If they got any closer, he'd find out. Nathan would eventually find out about her and Lucas. She could see more people getting hurt, and knew she was the cause. She wondered if there was any way to avoid it, but from the feeling she got just walking with Nathan, she felt it was too late.

"I think he fell in love." Nathan laughed, as if it were pathetic.

"Oh?" Haley said, acting surprised. She felt her cheeks burning, but was happy that the cool wind was keep her face cold.

"Yeah. And I don't think it worked out that great. So he kind of... withdrew from us even more." Nathan said as he opened the restaurant door and let Haley go ahead.

"So it's girls then?" Haley swallowed hard, praying there would be no more speak of Lucas's summer love. "The reason you're not close."

"No." Nathan sighed loudly, "It's much more complicated." As the words escaped his mouth, Nathan stopped and stared at Lucas, standing right in front of him, coffee in hand.

"Nathan." Lucas mumbled, then he looked over and seemed shocked to see her. Haley's heart pounded, standing between the two was the most frustrating, yet breathtaking experience she ever had. "Haley." Lucas whispered. She could hear the disappointment in his voice, and finally came back to her senses. It was like Nathan had put a spell on her, making her forget who she was, and who she was really in love with. She stepped away from Nathan, deciding this would be the last time she'd hang out with him.

"Mr. Scott." Haley choked out.

"You guys know each other well?" Nathan asked through his gritted teeth. Haley noticed that both guys their fists clenched, and were staring at each other with resentment.

"Nah." Haley said quickly.

"No." Lucas answered at the same time.

"Just class." Haley added again. Nathan looked between Lucas and Haley, as they tried to avoid eye contact.

"Well..." Lucas sighed, stepping between Nathan and Haley, as if to create a barrier. "See you guys in class."

"Yeah. See you." Haley said in a professional voice, her heart breaking as Lucas passed her ands he could smell his cologne and feel his fingers as he reached for her's for a split second as she walked out. She pulled away, afraid someone would see, but still watched him go, wishing she could run after him, but knowing she couldn't.

"That was..." Nathan looked at her, "weird." then he laughed and looked around for Peyton and Brooke.

"Yeah well..." Haley sighed as she walked towards the girls. "That's just me, I guess I'm weird." she laughed nervously.

Nathan actually laughed loudly, looking at her with astonishment, "No, you're not." he smiled. She didn't smile back, just walked even faster over to Brooke and whispered for her to sit next to Nathan, if she wanted. Haley smiled, knowing Brooke would.

* * *

Fumbling with her keys, she unlocked her door and walked into the dark dorm room. She was proud of herself, being able to avoid Nathan and Lucas both for a week now. But her pride faded when an overwhelming scent of cologne came across her nose and she turned on the light. She didn't even need the light, because she could sense him there. It was in his scent, in his basic presence. Her heart jumped into her throat and she felt like crying. She knew he shouldn't have been there, but something in her heart told her throughout that day that he would. She remembered the way he looked at her at the restaurant. As a lump formed in her throat, she felt her cheeks wet with tears, and she locked her door. She smiled, thinking of how funny it was that she still hadn't looked right at him, and she was so overwhelmed with emotions. She didn't know that any person int eh world was able to make her cry and laugh and smile all at the same. One thing was for sure, she wouldn't be able to stay away from him much longer.

"You shouldn't be here." she sighed, walking towards him. She had never seen him looking so defeated, sitting on the edge of her bed with his head in his hands. He looked up at her, his eyes glowing with love and sadness.

"Why were you with him?" He simply responded.

Haley just shrugged, unable to speak. She didn't want to talk now, behind closed doors, where no one could see them, the last thing she wanted to do was speak. She wanted to touch him, breathe him in amongst the silence of their breathing, amongst the feeling of them so close together.

"Haley." he spoke so softly, "What are you doing?" he asked. He stood up and closed the distance between them, placing his hand on the back of her neck.

"Me?" she muttered, barely able to breath. "What are _you_ doing?" she looked over his shoulder, unable to maintain eye contact. Outside she could hear rain beating against the window, and in the hall there were people rummaging around.

"I..." he almost seemed confused, wishing she would react differently to his presence. "I can't be without you." he mumbled, biting his lip and staring at her's.

"But Luke..." she pouted, trying to hold back desperate sobs. She had never wanted to be with someone so bad in her life, and it was possible, yet so impossible. "We can't."

"We can work around it." Lucas suggested. Haley just shook her head.

"If it was supposed to happen, it shouldn't have to be that complicated." she rested her forehead against his, closing her eyes and wrapping her arms around his body.

"We got through it this summer..." he tried reminding her. "When I was with you, I was never happier. I want things to be like that again." Haley stared at him, considering it. Remembering the way they laid on the beach together, drowsy and crazy about each other. She remembered all the times he snuck into her bedroom after dark, and out before sunlight, spending the nights cuddled up quietly, praying no one would come in, not really afraid of being caught, but afraid that their silence would be interrupted.

"Haley?" Peyton called from outside her door. Lucas held his breath and stepped away from her, ducking into the bathroom. Haley stood in the middle of the room, breathless. "What are you doing?" Peyton seemed to be laughing.

"Umm..." She glanced in at Lucas, "nothing."

"Secret booty call?" Brooke's voice echoed. "Oh, wait, it can't be, Nathan's still down in his dorm." Haley held her breath, watching as Lucas's appearance went tense and angry, but mostly disappointed.

"No, I'm just tired." Haley answered.

"Okay well..." Peyton started again, "Brooke, stop it." she muttered, "We're going to a movie, want to come?"

"You don't _have_ to." Brooke snapped, "feel free to say no."

Haley rolled her eyes, "Well, thank you Brooke." she shot back , "and I really think I'm going to stay in."

"You sure?" Peyton asked again.

"Yeah, but thanks." She heard them both mumble something as they left, but she had her concentration set to Lucas, who had walked back out and sat on her bed.

"You're right." he nodded. She smiled sadly and went to sit next to him. Taking his hand, she kissed his cheek and rested her head on his shoulder. "It's not going to work."

"I really want it to though." she whispered.

"It's just... not summer anymore." he sighed. "But I _do_ love you." he frowned. She just nodded and kissed him gently, feeling like it would be her last opportunity to do so.

"You should sneak back you before the girls all come back." she whispered to his neck.

He let out a deep breath, afraid that he'd cry in front of her, "I don't want to leave you." But regardless, he stood up and walked to the door, knowing someone would see him leave, but hoping no questions would be raised as long as he made it off of the female quarters before being spotted. He looked back at her, as she stood there with her arms folded. He took a minute to stare at her, wondering of it was the last time he'd be this close without having to pretend. He was shocked though, as he watched the color drain from her face and her attention avert to the space behind him. He turned to see Nathan there, hands in his pockets, looking confused.

"Nathan." Lucas said, clearing his throat. "Are you supposed to be on this floor?" Haley watched the confrontation, the awkwardness, the resentment that kept building between them, and wished even more that she knew why.

Nathan just rolled his eyes, "Oh God Lucas, we're not in church camp." Lucas didn't speak, just shifted uncomfortably. "What are you going to do? Tell dad?" Nathan grinned, knowing the reference to their father would effect Lucas.

"That would require me to speak to him." Lucas grumbled. They were both so caught up in their own rift, that they seemed to have forgotten the real issue, Lucas was in Haley's room. But Haley didn't mind, she just stood there, watching them, trying to figure out the mystery between the Scott brothers.

"It's time for you to get over this." Nathan muttered, pushing past him and into Haley's room to speak to her.

"That's not going to happen." Lucas said under his breath. Nathan turned and looked at him, and Haley could see the anger building up.

"What the hell are you doing here anyway?" Nathan called out, too loudly. Haley winced at the dreaded question.

There was a silence, and Haley coughed uncomfortably. "Mr. Scott..." she started, trying hard to think of something. Lucas looked her straight in the eye, ands he looked away, afraid that if she looked at him, the truth would come flowing out. "He was just bringing me a book that I left in class." she said quickly through a fake smile. She pointed at the book on her desk, happy she had left it out.

"Oh." Nathan simply muttered. "Wasn't that nice." he said defensively, "You can leave now." he said to Lucas. Lucas just looked at Haley, wondering why Nathan was in her bedroom, while Nathan looked at her as well, wondering what the real reason was that Lucas was there. There was a long awkward silence, and finally Nathan closed the door behind him, his eyes still on Haley, right in Lucas's face. Lucas stood on the opposite side of the door, fighting the urge to barge back in and separate them. His mind raced, thinking of what they'd do inside her room like that.

Haley turned and pulled open the drapes, staring at the heavy rain outside. Turning to look at Nathan, she waited for him to speak, but he didn't, he just looked at her, sending a chill down her spine. The look was too familiar, too much for her to handle. She wondered if each guy knew how much they had in common, including the adoring look they gave her.

"Did you need something?" She snapped at him. Nathan almost jumped, surprised at hold cold she seemed towards him.

"I wanted to know if you wanted to just..." he looked around, feeling strangely unwanted, "hang out." Haley sighed and shrugged.

"I can leave." He suggested, "if you want."

"No." she sighed honestly. It was the truth, she didn't want him to leave. She didn't want either of them to leave, which made it even more confusing. She knew she couldn't cut Nathan out, or any other guy for that matter. It was simple logic, there was no need to push anyone else away, especially since it had been established that nothing would happen between her and Lucas. She wondered what everyone would think of her, if they'd known what situation she had put herself in. But it didn't matter because she knew none of them have felt the way that she feels. But she knew she had picked the worst person to get close with. Nathan, Lucas's brother. He'd find out eventually, but she prayed he would at that time keep quiet and let it fade, even if she'd never be able to let it fade.

Nathan watched her, thinking so seriously of whether she wanted him there. He wasn't used to this. He was used to girls inviting him into their rooms, instead of having to beg to stay. But that wasn't the only new thing about the situation. The other was the way she was making him feel. He had only known her a few days, and he already wanted to know everything about her. She seemed like the type of person who you thought was so innocent, but had a huge story to tell. And all he asked was to know her story, to be a part of it. He wouldn't change though, if she wouldn't give him a part in her story, he'd write his own.

"You can stay." she finally whispered again. He smiled, proudly.

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MORE REVIEWS?? PLEASE? THANK YOU: ) 


	4. Chapter 4

Hey Guys... wow THANK YOU for the reviews! Heres another chapter.. i knows its taking me a lttle longer to update but its mid term time, and ive been focusing on that so... dont you worry... im still here... lol

This one is a little shorter , but I hope you like it anyways: )

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Chapter Four

You Make Me So Hot, Make Me Wanna Drop, You're So Ridiculous, I Can Barely Stop. I Can Hardly Breathe, You Make Me Wanna Scream, You're So Fabulous, You're So Good To Me... Baby, Baby.

_Hot- Avril Lavigne_

She watched the people whip past her, shivering and laughing. She listened as they told stories of their weekend, and the new people in their lives. She listened to the happiness in their voices, watched the stars in the eyes as they raced through the rain eager to enjoy the comforts of their dorm room. But she just walked slowly in the freezing rain, feeling the huge weight on her shoulders grow as the evening stretched on. Mondays were always terrible days, but Haley found that each of her days were getting worst no matter what day it was. She sighed, wondering what it would take to get herself out of this mood.

As she continued walking, she could feel herself losing touch with herself. Only a month into the school year, she felt like a completely different person. She had become the person she had hated in highschool, and felt like she was standing on the sidelines, watching someone else live her life. She stopped just before reaching her building, and stared up at all of the windows, the rain falling off of her chin. She could see the small silhouettes of all the people inside, and she could hear he laughter from an open window. The more she heard those people, the more she saw them, the more she lost touch with herself.

"What the hell are you doing?" a familiar voice yelled at her. She looked over and squinted through the rain at the red car next to her. He as smiling, but only slightly. He seemed confused to see her in such a way, soaking wet and freezing cold. "are you okay?" Lucas asked again. She couldn't find her voice to speak, but when he nodded to the passenger's seat of her car, she just walked over and got in, her voice still in her throat.

"Haley?" He tried again as they drove away from the school, to a part of the city where no one would know them.

"Yeah?" she finally said quietly.

"What were you doing?" He simply asked.

"I was... standing." she answered, unable to know the full reasoning to her own question. He kept driving, but watched her as she wiped the water from her face, but more seemed to keep falling off of her chin, even as she dried off. He reached over and grabbed her hand. She flenched, but squeezed his, finding comfort in his touch.

"Oh, Haley." he groaned. "What's going on with you."

"Tell me about you and Nathan." she blurted out. Lucas seemed surprised, and tried to keep his eyes on the wipers in front of him. It was raining so hard that they could barely hear each other speak, over the sound of the rain on the solid roof.

"Why?" Lucas asked through his gritted teeth. She could see that he didn't want to talk about it, that something in his mind was being bruised at the mention of Nathan's name.

"I want to know why it's so important to you that I stay away from him, Lucas." Haley moaned, "I feel like Im passing judgement on a person, pushing them away when I really have no reason to do so."

"Because I've begged you to stay away." Lucas tried to laugh, "and I love you. Is that enough?"

"No." Haley said slightly. She actually laughed, "I really thought you knew me. But now, I don't even know me."

"I _do_ know you." Lucas emphasized. He unbuckled his seat belt as he parked the car on a side street. Turning to her, he kissed her hand and let it linger next to his face, taking in her scent and the smooth feel of her skin.

"No, if you did you'd know that you can't expect me to stay away from Nathan. You can't expect me to be so judemental. I have no reason to do so." She informed him, feeling small parts of herself fall back into place.

"Nathan is just like his father." Lucas muttered.

"Your father?" Haley questioned. Lucas just nodded and Haley wished she didn't need to know these details about his life. She could see that it hurt him to talk about it, but she couldn't last any longer. She didn't want to be the person that she was becoming.

"Why is that so bad, Lucas? I mean, what's wrong with Nathan anyways? What's wrong with your father?" Haley asked. She couldn't hel but wonder what had come over her? It was like just one day, she decided she needed to know it all. Was she too quick to jump at these things? She felt like her life was a story, that she was writing too quickly, before she really got a chance to exlore all the intimate details. One month into her university life, and she had already overflowed her life with drama.

"What's going on? Why are you pressing this?" Lucas stammered, obviously avoiding the subject.

"I told you, I'm tired of judging everyone I know and see on what you have told me about them. I want to get to know people, based on my own perceptions, not based on what you've told me."

"You want to get to know Nathan, you mean."Lucas whispered, knowing the answer but wishing he was wrong.

"Yeah." Haley nodded. There was a silence, and Haley heard Lucas sigh deeply, seeming disappointed with the way things had unfolded. They both had wished things could have been different. That there was a way that they could have been together. But they both knew that at this point, there was no way that anything could happen. There was too much between them now, too much in the way and Lucas knew that he should just let her go, if only for awhile.

He nodded at her, reminding himself that he wanted her to be happy, and how muhc he loved her, "Okay. I'll tell you." He sat back and tried to relax, this would be the first time that he would pour his heart out about his family life. But this was different, this was Haley and he'd say or do anything to make her happy. "My father, he used to be ... amazing." Lucas smiled. "He loved my mom, and I never really thought that anything would come between them. He was really big on basketball, which was how I got into it. But he used to push me pretty hard, he was into academics, really. Whenever I was writing he'd always pull me away and make me go on the court. But other than that he was... an overly good guy."

Haley was listening contently, cherishing the intimate moment they were having as Lucas told her all about his past. It saddened her though, knowing that this could be the last time they'd have one of these talks. She could feel the transition happening between them, the part where they both agreed on an emotional level, without any words being spoken, that it was time for their chapter of the story to come to an end, and a new one to begin.

"So, what happened?" Haley urged him to continue, not wanting to pry, but truthfully wanting to get to the point.

"Ummm..." Lucas closed his eyes, as if trying to remember was difficult though the memories were actually very graphic in his mind. "I remember when I was nine, almost ten, I woke up in the middle of the night and my mother was crying. My father had been working late at this car dealership he owns, and I can remember when he came home, my mother started to cry. I tried not to hear her, but the walls in our house were thin, and I could hear every word they were saying." The sounds of his mother's voice echoed in Lucas' ears, and he shivered at the sounds. "I remember every bit of it, when he told her about the affair, and how the woman was pregnant with..." Lucas's voice trailed off.

"Nathan." Haley filled in for him, reaching over and running her fingers across Lucas' jaw softly. He leaned into her touch, finding comfort in her's the same as she did in his.

"Yeah, after my father told my mother that he was leaving us. I can't even remember when he moved out, but suddenly we were strangers. My mother and I went bankrupt, and I had to start working at my uncle's garage when I was fifteen. Nathan was five by then I guess, and Dan already had him into bassketball. That was why my father lost interest in me, I think. He had spent so many years trying to make me someone that I wasn't. And then he had Nathan, who was everything he ever wanted in a son. And his real family just... faded away. Nathan ended up being everything that he ever wanted in a son."

Haley looked at Lucas, unable to find the words to say to him. She began wishing she hadn't asked him anything, and with the comlicated history, somewhere in the back of her mind she wished she hadn't gotten involved in this mess at all.

"Have you ever talked to Nathan about this?" Haley whispered, feeling that Lucas was so fragile, too fragile to speak loudly at.

"Honestly?" Lucas chuckled, and Haley could see something in his eyes, as if they were being opened for the first time. Maybe just saying his story aloud made him hear it differently. "I've barely spoken two words to him."

They both looked at each other, sadness floating around like a cloud inside the car, smothering them. "I'm sorry, Luke." Haley sighed, reaching out and letting her fingers glide again across his neck line. Leaning into her touch, he kissed the palm of her hand. He nodded, an unbearable discomfort laying on his shoulders. The silence around wasn't one of their comfortable silences, but something more unsetteling.

"I love you, Haley." Lucas said under his breath, he knew he wouldn't get a response, he never did.

"He's a nice guy, Lucas." Haley tried getting back on subject, "has a little bit of an ego..." she laughed, "but he's genuinely a nice guy." Lucas pretended not to listen, his stubborn attitude kicking it. He just started the car and pilled back onto the main road, trying to forget everything that he had just old Haley, and everything she did and didn't say to him.

"I guess this is it now, huh?" Lucas said as he stopped in front of Haley's building.

Haley nodded, feeling the pages of her story being turned, stumbling upon a new chapter as the oldest one of all comes to an end. "Goodbye, Mr. Scott." she whispered as she stepped out into the night. It was still raining, and it rained a dampness onto her heart, feeling like a big part of her world had just been lost. When she had planned this, thought of this moment, she thought she was going to be more relieved, revived. She didn't imagine she'd feel like this.

* * *

"Decaf, actually." Nathan laughed. They were walking down the street, coffees in hand. The sunny saturday had begun to feel like a drowsy sunday, and here they were walking down the street, the sun penetrating through them. Haley waved a hand in front of her face, trying to wave the heat from her face. She was pretty sure that she was as red as a beet, but Nathan still gav her that lusty look that made her feel like she had just gotten all dressed up.

"You don't really strike me as a decaf person." Haley laughed.

"Okay my turn..." Nathan nodded, "favorite cartoon character?" Haley scoffed, surprised at how amature this conversation had been. When her and Nathan started this little game, where they'd be allowed to ask each other ANY question at all, and the other had to answer, she was expected Nathan to ask more personal questions, like most guys would. But his questions had been so silly and inpersonal. But those little questions were the ones that Haley loved the most, they meant nothing at all, but they were the key to who Haley really was, and they didn't make her feel like running away from him.

"ummm..." Haley thought, "batman." she admitted.

"BATMAN?" Nathan jumped, seeming excited. Haley just laughed and nodded. "Wow. Mine too." he smiled. He looked at her as if just this one little detail were an answer to everything there were searching for.

"Okay, I answered so it's my turn again..." Haley smild. She had never felt so free, so _stress_ free. She felt like a huge weight had been lifted off of her shoulers, and there was nothing left for her to do but relax and have fun. "Who were you in high school?"

"Nathan Scott." Nathan answered. He gave her a cocky grin, like he had just successfully answered the hardest question in the world.

"Seriously..." Haley groaned.

"Ummm..." Nathan thought, trying to avoid eye conact. This was the first question Haley had asked that had made Nathan uncomfortable, and by the way his pace slowed she could sense that he didn't want to answer.

"You know, you can just give in, say I win and owe me say...the rest of your life..." Haley smirked.

"Not a chance!" Nathan jumped in, "I was actually... a pretty shitty guy." he admitted, slumping his shoulders. Haley didn't speak for a second, she was confused.

"How so?" she just replied. She could feel her stomach swirl, afraid that she had been all wrong, afraid that Lucas had been right.

"I was a jackass, a big shot I guess..." he admitted. "But, not anymore..." he grinned, "I've turned over a new leaf, and it starts with you."

She felt her breath in her throat. She wasn't sure what he had meant, but she was pretty sure that things were moving in record time. Right now, she just wanted a friendship, and she was terrified that Nathan was lookng for more.

"Did that freak you out a bit?" Nathan smiled, understandingly. She looked up at him, as he gave her a look that told her that he wanted her. She truthfully wasn't sure if she was returning the look at all, but she tried her best to hide it. She just shrugged and looked down at her coffee. "Don't worry, I'm not that jackass anymore." He smiled, she nodded, feeling reassured that he wasn't trying to push her into anything. "So! My turn again!" Nathan laughed, seeming natural about the little moment they had just shared, all while Haley's heart was pounding.

"Right... of course." Haley tried to concentrate, but her mind kept jumping to those small words Nathan had said, and the the feeling she got everytime his hand grazed past her's at their sides.

"Anyone special in your life?" He smirked, knowing the answer, but wanting to be sure.

She looked up at him, squinting in the bright sun, she felt his hand move against her's again, seeming to stay next to it longer and longer each moment, "No..." she smiled, "well there wasn't, until lately." she whispered.

* * *

Okay!!! PLEASE review! though I know you will... : )

Michelley P.


	5. Chapter 5

Heyy as I said, after exams there would be another update. Well exams are over... and here's an update! I hope you guys like this one! please review! 

Disclaimer: I Do Not Own Anything Related To One Tree Hill

* * *

Chapter Five

_It's All In My __Head,__ I Think About It Over and Over Again, I Can't Keep Picturing You With Him. And It Hurts So Bad_

_-Over and Over- Nelly & Tim McGraw_

_"My arm is cramping." Lucas laughed quietly. Haley groaned, feeling as though she had just been awakened from a deep sleep. She had never been so comfortable in all of her life. _

_"Already?"__ She complained playfully._

_"Already?" he repeated. "We've been like this for five hours." He laughed._

_"Maybe if someone didn't keep me up all night, I wouldn't be so tired." She giggled, remembering their night, lying in this same place together. This place on the beach had become like home to them. They spent days and nights here, the sand tickling their skin._

_"I'm gonna miss you when I leave." Lucas whispered into her hair. Haley's breath caught in her throat, tears forming in her eyes._

_"Then don't go." She begged him. They had spent the summer together, getting to know every inch of each other._

_"I have to." He smiled, trying hard to hide his disappointment. "And besides, I think it's what you're parents would want." He added. She knew he was right. What was supposed to be a summer filled with extra studying and extra hours at the café, turned out to be a lazy summer lying on the beach with __Lucas.__ Summer school had seemed like such a priority. There'd be the extra classes to get ready for university. There'd be the extra money coming in to help pay for tuition. These were all a priority to her parents. But since Lucas happened, he was her only priority._

_"I__ still can't believe you left summer school for me." He whispered. __He felt her go tense next to him as he tried to wiggle his arm free. "They still haven't spoken to you have they?" he asked on a more serious note._

_"Nope.__ Not in a month and three days." She responded. Lucas sighed and rested on his side, his head resting in his hand._

_"I love you, Haley." Lucas whispered. She nodded, which he expected. They've only known each other for two months, but in that time Lucas had learned to love her. He learned to love the way she smiled, laughed, and yawned. He loved the way she smelled, and looked. He loved they way she talked, snorted and the way her eyes lit up when she saw him. But more than those things, he simply loved her. Every aspect of her, every inch._

_He began kissing her neck, and her jaw. She smiled and moaned at the feel of his lips on her bare skin. She could feel his fingers gliding their way up her thighs. Her heart pounded, she could taste his lips __on her's and taste how much he wanted her. For a man being so much older, she knew there were things that he needed more than she did. But the truth was she didn't want to give him those things. Throughout her few high school years she had seen a lot of love be passed around like a toy, and she judged those people. She hated them for being so selfish and unappreciative. She had always wanted what they had, and now she didn't want to do anything she'd regret. She wanted to really, truly love someone before anything more could happen._

_"Haley?" Lucas asked. She looked up at him, wishing she could say those words to him, but knowing she shouldn't, not unless she meant them. "Nathan's here to see you." He smiled his voice husky and suggesting._

_She looked around, very confused, "What?"_

_"He's here." He laughed._

* * *

"Are you going to sleep all day?" Peyton groaned, kicking the side of Haley's bed. Haley woke up, confused, with a sad empty feeling in her stomach.

"Umm…" she looked around, in some ways expecting to see Lucas sitting there, all cool and collected.

"Nathan's here to see you." She smiled. Peyton hit Haley with the pillow, and at the sound of Brooke's voice whining across the hall, disappeared out the door. Nathan walked in her room, his hands in his pockets, looking so comfortable, and the way she had expected to see Lucas looking.

"It's two o'clock… are you're still sleeping?" Nathan laughed, smiling at her.

"Yeah." She whispered her voice hoarse. "I couldn't sleep last night; I kept having these… weird… dreams." She reminded herself of her dreams of Lucas, of her memories, and how lately they had haunted her.

"Oh yeah?" he grinned; "were they about me?" he raised his eyebrows and bit his lower lip.

Haley laughed and tossed her pillow at him, before covering her head. "No!" she called out from under the covers. She heard him laugh and felt a weight on the side of her bed where he had sat.

Looking out from under the covers, she found him gazing at her, as if he had found something special or amazing. The look confused her, but she loved it. Reaching out, he traced a line on her face with his finger tips. She knew she must have looked terrible. Her hair was a mess and she probably had drool dried to the side of her face, but he still seemed to adore it.

"You want to do something today?" he asked her quietly. He had a way of whispering things to her, making them more intimate and luxurious, though they were so simple.

She made it seem like she was thinking, "umm…"

Shaking his head, Nathan laughed. He reached out and grabbed her, pulling her closer to him and tickling her. She could feel his hands all over her as she laughed loudly and squirmed around. She had never felt such a sensation from such a simple gesture, but her whole body almost went numb.

"Yesssss!" she called out. Wanting him to stop, not because it tickled, but because it was the closest they had ever been, and she was afraid that things were moving way too quickly. She wasn't sure if she wanted to lose that moment on the beach with Lucas, though her whole body begged her to give Nathan a chance.

"What?" he smiled, letting her fall back onto the bed and find her own personal space again.

"Yes." She whispered, and he nodded, obviously try regain his own composure, as was she.

* * *

"Haley and Nathan, they've really got something there, don't they?" Brooke asked Peyton as they walked down the street. Peyton looked over at Brooke with confusion, surprised at how respectfully she had said it.

"Yeah, they do." Peyton nodded, trying hard to be civil.

"I want that." Brooke added. Peyton laughed out loud, but stopped when she saw how offended Brooke seemed. She reached out and tried to hug her, but Brooke pulled away.

"I'm sorry, B. But you just don't usually see things that way." Peyton explained. "I mean, you're sleeping with the Dean of Admissions, for Christ's sake." Peyton scoffed.

"No I'm not." Brooke whispered. There seemed to be something in the air that day, Brooke wasn't sure what it was, but it made her want to be truthful with her best friend. She was tired of lying and being the shallow person she was.

"What?" Peyton asked, "You said…"

"I lied." Brooke sighed, wishing Peyton didn't need to know so much. She wanted to be able to just say she wasn't sleeping with the Dean, rather than have to spell it out all the time. She didn't like talking about here mistakes, let alone have to tell each one in such detail.

"Why?" Peyton asked, and Brooke could hear the hurt in her voice. So Brooke just shrugged, not wanting to have to explain that she was a terrible person and what not. The University life had opened up a new world, and after seeing Nathan waiting outside Haley's door for her all morning, it made her want someone who'd do that for her.

"But, Brooke…" Peyton seemed confused, "How'd you get in? I mean, you barely graduated."

Brooke shook her head, remembering all of the events of her senior year. "Peyton, you were so caught up with Jake and the baby last year, you have no idea how I did in school."

"Please don't bring Jake into this!" Peyton yelled. She didn't mean to but it seemed that Brooke always knew how do hit her where it hurt the most.

Brooke rolled her eyes, "It's time for you to stop treating it like it happened yesterday. The tragedy is over with, but like you always do, you're thriving on the heartache, aren't you?"

Peyton shook her head, "You didn't answer me. How'd you get in?"

"I did really well last year, Peyton." Brooke informed her. "Especially on my final exams." Brooke nodded. For the first time she was able to speak about it as if she were proud, rather than try to act like the shallow Brooke that Peyton and all the boys loved. She had been taught quickly, but Nathan Scott, that not _all_ hot guys go for the shallow girls.

"I can't believe you lied to me!" Peyton pouted. Brooke knew that Peyton wasn't really mad at her for lying, but the words about Jake and Jenny were still swimming through her head.

"Get over it." Brooke groaned. They kept walking in silence until they circled an old park and made their way back to the campus. It was nearly empty, except for a pretty girl looking around with confusion.

"Hi!" She smiled at the girls. They both smiled back but didn't speak. "Can you guys help me?" she asked, biting her lip.

"Sure." Peyton smiled, trying to sound polite, but she was in a terrible mood and really didn't want to socialize with anyone.

Brooke just rolled her eyes at Peyton's fake smile. "What?" Brooke raised an eyebrow at the girl.

"I'm looking for the men's dorms. Room…" she searched a piece of paper, "213."

"Isn't that Nathan's room?" Peyton asked Brooke. But Brooke just shrugged, not wanting to speak to her, even though she knew Peyton was right.

"Yes, it is." The girl responded. She folded her arms in front of her chest and gave the girls a confused look, almost accusing. "You guys know Nate?" she asked, eyeing them.

"Who doesn't?" Peyton laughed, "but he isn't in his room now… come on we'll bring you to him." Peyton smiled. Brooke stared at her, wondering how Peyton could be so oblivious. There was no way that Nathan was _just_ friends with a girl like this. She was beautiful, the perfect girl for a jock like Nathan.

"So, how do you know Nathan?" Brooke asked, wanting to know before they led her somewhere where things could get awkward. "Old friends?" she secretly hoped. She didn't want to admit it, but she had a terrible feeling that Haley was about to get an eye opener, and she wanted to spare Haley the drama.

The girl laughed. "No… he's my boyfriend, actually." She smiled, "I'm going to surprise him." Peyton stopped walking and turned back the other way.

"Maybe you should wait for him at his room; I'm actually not sure where he is." Peyton guided her back the other way.

Brooke laughed, "What's your name?" she asked.

"Rachel."

"Oh yes, Rachel. I'm sure he'll be surprised." Brooke nudged Peyton.

"He's not the only one." Peyton muttered as they turned the corridor and headed towards the men's dorms.

"Hmm?" The girl reacted.

Peyton just shook her head, wishing she had let Haley sleep in today.

* * *

"When I asked if you wanted to do something, I wasn't thinking about the library." Nathan laughed as he held the door open for Haley and she walked in.

"Oh Nathan, you're idea of a good time isn't hanging out in an old, secluded, barely lit library?" she joked. But she could see that Nathan was taking it very seriously, as his eyes lit up. She could only imagine the ideas he was getting now, as he eyed the tables and books, the dark corners and most importantly, the empty front desk.

"So…" He raised his eyebrows at her. "What do you want to do?" he smiled. She laughed and hit him playfully in the arm.

"I'm going to go over to that dark corner and…" he waited for her to finish, hanging onto her every word. "Get a book for my English essay."

"How about you… don't?" he suggested, reaching out and letting his arm wrap around her waist.

"Oh, but I have to." She smiled and squirmed away. He followed her to the corner and watched as she looked for the book.

"I don't think it's here." He smiled. He pushed her away from the book shelf and against the wall behind her. Leaning into her, he smiled again, amazed at how beautiful she was.

"I didn't even get to look." She tried to be difficult, but her eyes kept wandering to his lips, and she was dying for him to kiss her.

"I don't care." He said in a flat voice. He leaned in closer, his lips almost touching her's, but pulled back. "Wait a second!" he gasped. "I'm in your English class, and we don't have an assign-"

"It got you here didn't it?" Haley smiled. She grabbed his coat collar and pulled him down to her. He stared her right in the eye, not once breaking contact as their cheeks grazed, their noses grazed, and finally, their lips grazed. They didn't kiss yet, but let their lips linger close together. It was like becoming acquainted with something new and outstanding. But the introductions didn't last long, before their mouths collided. Haley had spent countless hours in this library, but this one was by far the best.

As Nathan's jacket hit the floor, Haley couldn't believe how comfortable she was with this. She felt like she already knew so much about him, as his fingers unzipped her sweater and it fell on top of his jacket. He lifted her up and pressed her against the wall, so thankful that this corner of the library was so secluded and unused. The books in this area probably hadn't been touched since the library was built, but Nathan prayed they were about to be witnesses to something amazing.

With her legs wrapped around his waist, his hands found their way around her whole body, as they both explored each other. She had never thought it was possible to be so attracted to someone, but for a girl with so little experience, she realized that she simply couldn't get enough of him. Her hands ran across his chest and down to the bottom of his t shirt, pulling it up until he helped her pull it off. She stopped kissing him, and took a moment to gaze at him. She was amazed at his build, and she let her finger tips dance across his chest and stomach. She was losing her breath and kissing him was like coming up for oxygen.

She felt his hand inside her shirt, memorizing her stomach area before begging the shirt to disappear. Just as the shirt rose above her stomach, their hands clenched together, pulling it off, they heard footsteps.

Looking over, they saw Lucas, staring at them. In his eyes Haley could see how hurt he was. It hadn't even been twenty four hours since they had parted, and he found her here with his brother. She jumped to her feet and backed away from Nathan, pulling her shirt down over her chest. The three were just standing there, staring at each other. Casually, Nathan picked up his t shirt and put it back on, but Haley managed to get one more glimpse before he did. He walked over and handed Haley her sweater, picked up his jacket and stood at her side, his arm across his shoulders.

She had went from being so comfortable with Nathan, to so very uncomfortable, as Lucas stared holes through her.

"I'm not quite sure if this is the place for that behavior." Lucas tried to sound authoritive, hiding the hurt in his voice.

Nathan nodded and swallowed a lump in his throat. He had barely known Lucas growing up. Lucas had always been the older kid who everyone said was his brother. But in Nathan's eyes, Lucas was the older kid who blamed him for everything that was wrong in his life. Nathan could see him doing the same now. "Sorry." Nathan whispered. He started walking and guided Haley past Lucas. For a brief moment, Haley and Lucas's eyes met. They lingered and then shot away, so many emotions present at once. But for a brief moment, she could see them all in his, pain, embarrassment, and regret. But the most visible was the love. It was too bad he couldn't see that in her's.

"That was…" Nathan laughed as they got outside, "embarrassing." Haley forced a laugh and nodded. "Fun though." He grinned. He reached out and held Haley's hand, and she smiled.

"I honestly can't believe that just happened." She tried to laugh again, but the look on Lucas's face kept playing over and over in her head.

"Yeah." Nathan breathed. She could have sworn she heard pain in his voice as well. And for a moment she had forgotten that Lucas didn't only have a history with her, but a terrible one with Nathan as well.

"You okay?" she asked, squeezing his hand. Nathan nodded, but was hesitant.

"That was my brother." He said, trying to make himself believe it. He shook his head, "he hates me."

Haley shook her head, "No Nathan. He's your brother, no matter how hard he tries, he'll never be able to hate you."

"He coached my basketball team, in middle school. I was nine or ten, and he was coaching it as a job before he started University."

"Oh?" Haley was surprised; Nathan seemed to be fond of the memory.

"Yeah. He thinks I joined because our dad wanted me to but, I joined because, I heard he was coaching and I really wanted to know who my brother was. I actually admired him when I was little, he was like… my role model." Nathan blushed.

"Really?" Haley gasped, amazed at the sincerity in his voice.

"Yeah. But when I joined he quit." Nathan added. "He never gave me a chance. Not once. I can't do _anything_ wrong. It's like he uses it as an excuse to hate me."

"Oh, Nathan." Haley moaned, she stood on her tippy toes and kissed his cheek, and he smiled at her.

"That's why I took this scholarship."

"Scholarship?" Haley questioned. She remembered someone, Lucas maybe, telling her that his father had paid for him to get in.

"Basketball." He simply explained, "I wanted to get to know my brother, without our parents around." Haley wasn't sure what to say. So she continued walking with him, holding his hand tightly. Nathan hadn't turned out to be who Lucas thought he was. And all that Haley could think about was that maybe she was meant to be the link between them, the thing that would bring two brothers together. But something in the pit of her stomach told her that she wasn't, she was actually the last straw that would break them forever. And now, there was no way of getting out of it.

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Like it?? please review!

Michelley P.


	6. Chapter 6

Hey... here's my new chapter. It's a little shorter than usual... but... I hope you enjoy it none the less... please review: )

Disclaimer: DONT OWN IT: P

Michelley P.

* * *

Chapter Six

_I Just Want To Show You, She Don't Even Know You, She's Never Gonna Love You Like I Want To. And You Just See Right Through Me, But If You Only Knew Me, We Could Be A Beautiful, Miracle. Unbelievable. Instead Of Just Invisible._

* * *

Pacing inside the sanctuary of the small study room of the library, his eyes burned with the images in his head. His ears rung from the simple sounds of their heavy breathing. His whole body ached with surprise and disappointment. It would have been bad no matter who Haley was with, but to see her in such a position with Nathan, someone who he was taught to hate, it was worst than he could have imagined. He never knew he could be so dependent on someone, but he felt like there was a piece of him missing, and now that severed end was throbbing like acid poured into a wound.

Closing his eyes, he let his mind wander past this moment, and back into the summer. He pictured her lying with him, and walking with him and laughing with him. He could almost taste her kissing him, and he could feel her touching him. He remembered the good times and the bad. He remembered when they first met, and when they were force to part. What was the chance that they'd meet afterwards, after their love had been so forbidden? He knew that it couldn't be a coincidence, but there had to be a reason they stumbled upon each other.

Lucas was just too tired of being the person he had always been. Lucas Scott, the good one, the nice one, the gentleman. These labels had gotten him nowhere, and he was ready to fight for what he wanted. She said it was over, but this was his life too, and he wasn't ready for it to be over. Bursting into the cold night, the breeze outside the library hit him, making him more aware of himself and what he truly wanted.

* * *

"Are you sure you have to go back to your room?" Nathan smiled, looking down at Haley as he held both of her hands. She smiled at him, but he could tell her mind was somewhere else.

"Yeahhh…" Haley smiled back. She loved being here with Nathan. She loved the feel of his hands, and the taste of his kiss, but the look on Lucas's face was embedded into her mind, and she couldn't get rid of it. No matter how much she liked being with Nathan, in that moment her heart ached for Lucas. Did she honestly expect their past to fade out just as the summer did, did she think that by turning the page in her book, the previous pages would wash away? She wished for it, but the truth was, Lucas was still with her in every breath. She didn't love him, but she loved the moments she had with him and she would have given anything to have those back. A part of her though, would give anything to have had those moments with Nathan instead. But her past was her past, whether she wanted to deal with it or not.

"Are you okay, Hales?" Nathan asked, noticing the distant look on her face. She heard the name, and smiled.

"I like that." She whispered, leaning up and giving him a simple kiss.

He was confused, but loved the gesture. "What?

"The name…" She explained. For a moment, Nathan's little nickname for her seemed so intimate and personal that it took her mind off of Lucas.

"Oh really?" Nathan smirked. She was beginning to get used to that smirk, and he was getting used to the way her face lit up whenever he did it, it made him want to do it over and over again, just to get that reaction. "Hales…" he exaggerated the voice. Haley laughed and leaned into his chest, resting her head against his heart. She could hear it pounding. "Hales…" He said again, using a phony accent.

Haley laughed loudly, but didn't stop him. No matter how he said it, she loved the fact that they share something between them, something that was all theirs, no matter how simple it was.

"Nate…" She giggled, and slapped him in the arm playfully. He caught her hand, and kissed it.

"Nathan?" A voice called from down the hall. The couple stepped back from each other and watched as the slim red head made her way up the hall towards them. She looked confused and angry, glaring at Haley. Behind her Peyton and Brooke followed quickly, obviously trying to stop a bad situation from getting worst.

"Rachel." Nathan gasped. Haley wasn't sure if it was the fact that his person was here that took his breath away, or her devastating good looks. Rachel walked up to Nathan, and Haley noticed that she was standing too close to be related to him. Haley begun to shiver, suddenly wishing Nathan could warm her up, but from the position of Rachel's arms around his neck, she knew it wasn't going to happen.

"Nate?" Haley asked him, raising her eyebrows. Nathan looked over at her, and immediately saw how bad things were going to get. The look on Haley's face told him that she knew, but she needed to be told. He wanted so bad to push Rachel out of his life and grab Haley, but something told him that when two people have a past, it needs to be sorted out before any future can be continued.

"Oh man, Hales." He moaned. She was just across the room but it seemed like a mile away. All that he wanted to do was have her next to him and continue what they had started, but Rachel was certainly going to put that on hold. He stepped back from Rachel, and nodded towards her. "This is Rachel." Haley swallowed the lump in her throat, and waited for him to continue, "I guess she's my girlfriend."

Haley's breath caught in her throat, and she walked over to where Peyton and Brooke were waiting with open arms. Looking back a Nathan, as a small tear glided off of her chin, she muttered, "You guess?" Not knowing how to respond, Nathan nodded."Well, _I guess_ I was wrong about you…" She snapped. He hated seeing Haley so hurt, but he needed to deal with some other things before anything with Haley went any further.

"Come on Haley," Brooke whispered, rubbing her back, "let's get back…" Haley nodded, while Peyton kept quiet. The three girls walked down the hall, Nathan and Rachel slowly fading behind the corner. Haley could of swore she heard Nathan say her name, but her own mind was uttering so many words to herself, that she was blocking out everything around her.

_

* * *

"I can't believe you're leaving tomorrow…" she whispered. She was sitting on the hood of his car, watching a plane fly overhead in the dark sky. Its lights flickered on and off-on and off, so consistent and dependable that it made her jealous._

_Lucas sighed and climbed up next to her, wiping a small tickle of perspiration from his brow. These were the conversations he hated, the ones he avoiding, where he had to face the facts that he was about to leave the most important thing in his life behind. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder, remembering how they had stumbled upon each other on a deserted beach on__e__ day, and how they had ended up here, so crazy for one another._

_"Me neither." He sighed again, and pulled her backwards so that they were lying back, and they both watched that plane. _

_"That'll be you tomorrow." She commented feeling like if she sai__d it enough; it would hurt less._

_"Come with me." He whispered. He knew it wasn't possible, but a part of him hoped that something out there would make it happen. The thought of them building such a life together overwhelmed him with happiness, and he had never wanted anything more._

_"I can't…" she sighed. _

_"I love you, Haley." Lucas whispered again. For the past week or so, she had gotten used to hearing this, but it never got old. She just nodded though, being an old fashioned person who didn't believe in saying things that she really didn't mean._

_"It's crazy isn't it?" Haley mentioned, a deep moment of realization hitting her. "That we barely know each other… but yet, here we are." She chuckled sadly._

_"I know you." He smiled, "Just because I don't know your mother's maiden name, or who you were as a child, or the details of your life, doesn't mean I don't know you."_

_"But Lucas, those simple things are the things that are most important." She let out a deep sigh, wishing she were older and wiser, and better, for him._

_"No they're not. Those things don't matter, and your age doesn't matter, not to me." He looked down and removed a piece of hair from her face, looking deep into her eyes. "I may not know those things, but I know every inch of your body… almost" he blushed. "And I know all the different layers in your eyes and the lines around your mouth when you smile. I know every tone that your voice makes when you speak, cry and laugh. And in those small simple things, I know everything about you."_

_Haley gasped, looking up at him, leaning over her. He let his finger tips dance along her cheeks, and along her lips. She couldn't speak, couldn't find the words to explain how much she cared for him, __without using the word love. Instead, she replaced those words with the touch of her lips on his, letting their last night together fade among them, blending into day light._

* * *

"You okay?" Peyton asked, she was putting on her jacket, and stuffing clothes into a large duffle bag. Haley nodded, sitting cross legged on the edge of her bed. Her mind was spinning with thoughts of Nathan and Lucas colliding. She had barely been in this school for three months, and she had already managed to make and break to amazing relationships. She couldn't believe how much alike those guys were whether either of them wanted to admit it or not.

"Where are you going?" Haley asked as she watched Peyton throw the bag over her shoulder.

"I've got some things to take care of back home, so I'm going to be gone for a couple weeks." Peyton was out of breath and seemed to be shaking.

"Are _you_ okay?" Haley asked her, standing to follow her down the hall. Peyton just nodded and waved good bye as she disappeared around the corner. Standing alone in the hall in her pajamas, Haley looked around at the blank walls. Her life seemed so glum and dark, like the dark red paint on these walls. Everything exciting seemed to have faded and left her lonely and afraid. Afraid of what? Afraid of being alone, mostly, which she was. She was afraid that this person standing in the middle of the hall was the person she'd always be, no matter what she did to change that. The only thing she really ever wanted was to stand on her feet, but every time she tried she kept falling down again.

"Well…" Haley sighed, heading back to her room.

"You'll get used to that, she disappears a lot, and usually, it's at the worst time…" Brooke said. She was leaning against the door way, with her arms crossed. "I've actually gotten used to dealing with my problems without her there."

"Oh…" was all that Haley could mutter. Brooke seemed to be looking her over, her messy hair and unmatched wardrobe. Her pajama pants were wrinkled and she was sure her mascara was smeared. Brooke was giving her the look she always seemed to give her, the one that said,_ I am Brooke Davis, and I am way too good to be seen with a pathetic loser like you._

But tonight, Brooke's opinions of Haley weren't able to fly over her head. Haley didn't have the threshold to just take it; she needed to blow up at someone, whether that someone was Lucas, Nathan, or even Brooke.

"You barely even know me…" Haley muttered before opening her room door. Brooke was still leaning against her own door, directly across the hall, staring at her finger nails.

"And?" Brooke said in a barely responsive voice.

"And. Who are you to judge me? To give me the looks you do and treat me the way you do. You have no idea who I am or where I come from. So it's time for you to wipe that smug look off your face because I am so sick of our attitude." Brooke's hand dropped to her side, and Haley stood there, begging for a response. She was tired or not getting them. She was tired of being left in the dark and talking to what seem like no one at all. She wanted someone to listen, to respond, the way she wanted it, not the way everything else wanted it.

To Haley's surprise, Brooke smiled. She stood up straight and looked at Haley, seeming to understand everything she had just said. Brooke didn't apologize though, she didn't try to explain her ways and she didn't shoot back with a ridiculous retort about being so much better than Haley. Instead, seeming human, Brooke nodded towards her room and shrugged, "Wanna hang out tonight?"

Haley's breathing was heavy with anger, an anger she wanted to keep, but it started to melt away with each breath she took. She looked around, angry at Brooke for being a bitch. Angry at Peyton for leaving. Angry at Nathan for leading her on, and mostly, angry at Lucas for being so… perfect. She was simply angry, but realized that nothing could change that. Nothing could take away her anger, and at this point there was probably nothing that could make it worst. So instead, Haley just nodded, and disappeared inside of Brooke's room.

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Okay... review PLEASE:D\

Michelley P.


	7. Chapter 7

Hey!!!! Thank you guys SO much for the WONDERFUL reviews. I LOVE THEM: )

So here is another chapter, and I honestly think that this is going to be the beginning to the real story line, of Haley and Nathan, but Lucas being the shadow of a lover that has had such a great impact on her life, but still threatens many aspects of it. There are still unresolved lies and storylines... so stay tuned!

Disclaimer?? hhmmm, I want to own this so bad. The show, the characters and the songs, but I don't. I only love it... thats alll... : (

Michelley P.

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Chapter Seven

_Honestly I Didn't Mean To Cry So Hard But The Heartache Was Pouring In Like Rain, I Didn't Mean To Show I Cared. Honestly I Didn't Mean To Laugh So Loud But It Just Sounds So Absurd To Say That You Love Me, Say That You Need Me, After Everything You've Done. Please Believe That I Tried My Best To Forget You But The Memories Kept Flooding Back Like Tears. I Didn't Mean To Fall In Love…_

**Honestly- Bethany Joy Galeotti**

"I'm not sure if that's the shade for you." Brooke groaned. She stepped over to where Haley was standing at the mirror, and took the pale lipstick from her hands.

"Excuse me?" Haley snapped. She wasn't usually this uptight, but she was doing her best to get the thoughts of Nathan and Rachel out of her head. But her head was actually swimming. What were they doing? Who was she? Why hadn't he mentioned her somewhere between the moment that they had met and the moment where they were ripping each other's clothes off?

"Oh, don't act so defensive." Brooke rolled her eyes and Haley could tell that she wasn't the type of girl who took anyone else seriously.

"Well than, what exactly is my shade?" Haley mocked her.

Brooke shrugged as if the answer was obvious. She dug through the bag of make-up and pulled out a lip stick that looked new and unused.

"Why do you have things that you never use?" Haley asked, she motioned towards the piles of make-up on the dresser and the tags sticking off of the clothes in her open drawers.

Brooke shrugged and begun to apply the make-up to Haley's lips. "I've bought so much from the stores back home that I get free samples now. I'm basically their living mannequin, but they don't even know that I don't wear half of it." Brooke laughed. "Feel free to come over and steal some of this, I'd love to get it off of my hands."

Haley raised her eyebrows at her, wishing she had such a luxury, while Brooke seemed like it was normal.

"You have a pale complexion." Brooke stated.

"Thanks for pointing that out." Haley smiled sarcastically as Brooke dabbed her lips with a tissue. She stepped back and stared at Haley, then nodded her head with satisfaction.

"If you have a pale complexion, you shouldn't wear a pale lipstick. You need something brighter that will add color to your face, but not bright in a way that looks cheesy" She handed the tube to Haley, "Pretty in Pink, that's your color." Brooke turned on her heel and a bright smile spread across her face.

"Oh." Haley said, looking down at the tube. "And what's your shade?"

"Me?" Brooke scoffed. "Please, I look good in anything."

Haley rolled her eyes, "someday that ego of yours is going to come back to get you in the ass." She mumbled.

"Sounds fun." Brooke whispered in a husky voice.

Haley laughed, amazed that there were actually people like Brooke Davis, they weren't just on television. But that small thought sent her in a loop back to Nathan. It made her wonder if his kindness, sweetness and amazing looks were also too good to be true? Was Nathan real, or was the character she had set him in also just something from television?

Her smile faded when she realized that she had lost Nathan, when she barely had him. This year already, she lost Lucas and Nathan, and gained nothing.

"Nathan?" Brooke asked her. Haley felt uncomfortable talking about this with Brooke, after everything with Brooke wanting Nathan at the beginning of the year. She simply nodded. Was her problem Nathan? Was it Lucas? Or was it her?

"You really like him don't you?" Brooke asked sincerely. Haley cleared her throat, the question felt threatening. She shrugged and felt like the walls were caving in. She did. She really "liked" him. She could have seen it developing into something much more, but it was like a part of her wouldn't let her. The part of her that couldn't let Lucas go.

"I should go." Haley whispered. She turned to leave but Brooke grabbed her arm.

"Wait!" Brooke said urgently. She fumbled through the bag again, and pulled out an arm load of products. She hurriedly smoothed a brush over Haley's face and applied numerous products to her eyes and cheeks. Haley didn't know what half of it was, but she wasn't sure if she had it in her to fight it.

"Go get him." Brooke winked. "Don't give up so easily.

* * *

Nathan stood still in front of the window of his dorm room. About a half an hour ago he saw Haley slowly make her way down the road, turning and disappearing down the quiet street. He felt Rachel's arms wrap around his waist, and her lips kiss his neck. He flinched, uncomfortable with her being so close. She smiled and breathed in the sweet scent of his aftershave, whispering about how much she missed him.

"Missed me?" Nathan scoffed. He turned around and pushed her away from him gently but abruptly. "You've got to be kidding me." He walked away from the window, begging his heart to stop searching for Haley.

Rachel sighed and ran her fingers through her long red hair. "I know you're mad." She whispered.

"I'm not mad Rachel." Nathan huffed; he felt his pulse racing, his heart beating faster and faster as the images of Haley flashed in his mind. More than anything, he wanted Rachel to leave now, so that he could run after Haley. But Rachel had never been the type of girl to back down.

"Good." She smiled, she walked towards him and reached out, but he stepped away.

"I'm not mad anymore." He corrected himself. "I was mad, when you first left. But I'm over it." He explained, "I'm over you."

She gasped, unable to believe that it was true. "But Nathan, I'm sorry." She began to cry. "I love you."

Nathan's heart broke at the sound of her words, he never believed them when they were together, and he didn't believe them now. But a part of him heard Haley saying them, and he wanted so much to believe those words. And believe that she'd give him another shot.

"Stop it, Rachel." He sighed. He looked back out the window, hoping she hadn't gotten too far. "Where have you been?" He asked Rachel, she seemed surprised and he wondered if she had really expected to come here and not get that question.

"It doesn't matter." She whispered, "You've already made up your mind." He looked back at her, and at the tears falling from her chin. For a moment he felt bad, he wanted to try his best to be the person he was in high school when he was with her, but it all faded when he looked in her eyes. Her eyes screamed at him, that he wasn't that person anymore. He was reminded of a time when he was a cocky sophomore with an ego too big for a single relationship. And he reminded when she didn't care. She stood at his side, for the image only. She never wanted to hear his stories of his longing to know his brother; she never knew his struggles with his father or his desperate need to start his own life. She allowed him to sleep around and creep around, as long as at the end of the day, she was still Rachel Gatina, the red head bomb shell who owned the captain of the Raven's.

"Yeah, I made up my mind in July, when I realized you weren't coming back. It was nice you know, to wake up after graduation and realize that the only thing your girlfriend needed was your name. As soon as there was no school for you to be popular in you disappear. And I was stupid enough to spend over a month thinking you'd come back. I spent a month thinking it and two months dealing with it." Nathan remembered. His ego had never been so bruised, but it didn't matter anymore. He wasn't that person. This was just another school for Rachel to take over, and use him to do it, but not this time. "But whether I'm over it or not, I think I still deserve an answer. WHERE DID YOU GO, RACHEL?" he begun to yell. Rachel jumped, surprised that he cared.

"Chicago." She answered.

"WHY?" he demanded.

Rachel shrugged, realizing that this trip was not going to turn into what she had expected. "Fun." She answered.

Nathan scoffed, beginning to find her amusing. "Well, I'm glad you were having fun while I was waiting for you." He whispered. Rachel seemed shocked, and Nathan knew that Rachel had come here expecting to find the guy she was with in high school. She grabbed her coat and walked to the door, embarrassed and regretful.

"You'll miss me." She muttered.

"I've been there. Wasn't that fun." He said sarcastically. "I don't plan on going back." She paused, seeming hurt.

"Does _she_ know how much you like to sleep around?" she spat out.

"Different lifetime, Rach." Nathan shook his head, knowing that would never be an option with Haley, whether she gave him a shot or not. "It's time to grow up." He was surprising himself, with this new attitude and outlook, but he knew that this was just one of Haley's many affects on him.

Before leaving, Rachel turned back and looked at him, searching for the person she used to know, "Who _are_ you?" Nathan just shrugged and watched her slam to door. The sound of her footsteps down the hall seemed irrelevant to him as he tried to remember which way he had turned. He laughed at himself for having to think. There wasn't a moment with her that he had forgotten, He threw on his sweater and dashed out the door, leaving through the fire escape to avoid any run in with Rachel.

* * *

Kicking the rocks in front of her, Haley found herself walking down a long deserted street on the riverfront. Her mind chased her with thoughts of two different yet similar men. She wished she had stayed in summer school this summer, where she would not have gotten too involved with Lucas. But that would not have stopped her from getting involved with Nathan. She honestly wasn't sure if anything could stop her from getting involved with Nathan. It was as if he had his own gravitational pull, drawing her to him. It was like something she couldn't deny, and couldn't avoid.

Beneath the glow of the street light she could see a distant body, playing basketball alongside the river. The court was small and private, and from the bench at the bus stop where Haley had stopped for a break, she could watch the man glide along the court with grace. He reminded her of Nathan, and then of how messed up she was. But another memory flashed in her mind . . .

_Walking up to the basketball court outside of his house, Haley watched him wipe the sweat from his brow and slam the ball into the net again. She looked at the house, and it made her shiver, knowing that she had passed this house everyday and frowned at the woman inside. She was an older woman, one of those old ladies who never gave the kids treats on Halloween, and called the police when she saw them sneaking around in the night. But now, she was standing in the driveway, after three weeks with Lucas, ready to admit she wanted more with him._

"_So this is where you hide huh?" She smiled as the ball rolled towards her feet. She stopped it with her foot, and grinned at him._

"_It is…" he smiled back, "but you've found me…" he walked towards her placed his hand her neck. Looking down at her, he . . . _

Haley's eyes opened slowly, as the memory faded. He what? She thought hard, what happened but after he had done that? She smiled, but sighed a little, surprised that she was relieved that the summer was fading out of her mind. Maybe her memories were being replaced with new memories, she was finally moving in from Lucas, only to have the rug tugged out from underneath her.

"You walked far, in such a short time." Nathan spoke softly as he sat next to her. He looked over at the person on the basketball court, and gave Haley a weird look. He shifted uncomfortably, but smiled at her, "You move fast."

"Yeah. Too fast, I think." She whispered quietly. She kept her eyes on the man playing ball, trying hard to keep her eyes off of Nathan, sitting so closely to her. But her lips tingled, wanting his again. Her hands shook, wanting to touch him; her whole body ached, needing him. "You shouldn't be here."

"Why not?" Nathan questioned, he shifted closer to her, and ran his hands up and down her arm.

"Your girlfriend won't like it." She mumbled.

Nathan sighed, decided to put away his charm and try honestly, for the first time in his life. "She's not my girlfriend, _Hales._"

Her body tingled, "aww, you broke up?" she said sarcastically.

"Yeahh…" he breathed, "at the beginning of the summer." Haley finally looked at him, demanding an explanation. "We used to go out, back in high school, but she disappeared for the summer, and came back here, expecting to just get back together."

"What did you say?" Haley asked.

"I didn't have to say anything." He smiled proudly, "She could see that I'd changed and… I was interested in someone else." His arm wrapped around her shoulders and pulled her into him, and she tried hard to hold back the smile. She could see that she had no reason to be angry at him, he didn't hide anything, he didn't lie, and he really did like her.

"Are there any more skeletons that I should know about?" she asked quietly.

"None, I promise you." He whispered into her hair. She nodded, seeing the night come to a huge turn.

"So you tell me, Hales. How far do you see this going?" he asked. She was surprised and began to feel uncomfortable from talking about something that seemed so far in the future, so certain.

"What?" she asked, looking at him.

"I spent my whole life having flings and one night stands but, I don't want that anymore." Suddenly a calming fell over her, making her more open to the thought of discussing this.

"What do you want?" she asked him, resting her head on his shoulder.

"Just a chance, with you." He smiled. She looked up and kissed him quickly, feeling so good with him.

"Okay." She whispered.

"Okay?" he smiled at her.

"Okay." She repeated.

"So let's go back to my place…" he suggested. "And stop watching Lucas play ball; he's almost as good as me." Nathan grabbed her hand and pulled her up, walking with her close to his side.

"Lucas?" she muttered, staring back at the court. It _was_ him. How could it have been Lucas, yet she didn't recognize him. How could she have been sitting there, looking at him, and not know him. There was a time when she knew every inch of him so well, but had that really faded so much? Was he not the same person that she met that summer? Again, she felt relieved, happy that he was fading out of her life, but in a way she wished Nathan had asked her for the skeletons in her closet. She certainly needed to tell him, but she couldn't get herself to open that closer door.

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Reviews????? PLEASE: )

Michelley P.


	8. Chapter 8

_Don't tell me you're sorry cuz you're not. Baby when I know you're only sorry you got caught. But you put on quite a show, really had me going. But now it's time to go, curtains finally closing. That was quite a show, very entertaining. But it's over now, Go on and take a bow. And the award for the best liar goes to you. For making me believe you could be faithful._

-Take a Bow- Rihanna

There is always a moment in life, when every breath you take suddenly breaks your heart. It doesn't matter when or where, nothing matters… because in that moment, everything matters. It's funny isn't it, how in those moments, mistakes you made in high school seem to haunt you, all the little things around you rain down until you reach this breaking point. That breaking point though, is a blessing. In that moment, the anguish is over. You can let go of what you have, and find out what you want. But, what if you never give in? What if you live your life running from pain and worry, only to find that you're running from yourself?

Will you end up like Haley? Haley James, beautiful and quiet, with such honest intentions. But Haley knows that intentions account for nothing, when love gets in the way. She wants so badly to be able to look at the person she's with and let him occupy her heart, and she can lie and pretend he does, but she knows that she'll never be able to let anyone in there, until she's able to get someone out. She worries so much that her lies are going to break Nathan, but cannot find the words anymore to make this better. So with her golden smile and her good intentions, she secretly prays that someday she'll wake up, and nothing will exist except warm summer days and the sound of two hearts beating.

But what about Brooke? Beautiful, carefree Brooke. She has gone from living her life under a spot light, to searching for a light to guide her back. Sitting alone every day, she prays to see the world through someone else's eyes, and for everyone to see it through hers. Tired of her reputation and lies, she has tried so hard to prove herself to everyone, and to Peyton. But her best friend seems to come and go, untrusting of the hand Brooke has held out for her. But what if Brooke isn't reaching out to pull someone up, but to be pulled up, but no one cares?

"I'm back." A small voice whispered through the darkness of the dorm room. Brooke looked up from her bed, after being awakened and stared at Peyton through the dim glow of the bedside lamp. Sitting up, she stared at her best friend. She looked different. Maybe it was the darkness of the room or the heavy sleep in Brooke's eyes, but she wasn't the girl that had left a week ago.

"Peyton." Brooke breathed, still lost in her transformation. "Why didn't you call? I was really worried about you." Peyton barely spoke, but gave Brooke a long, hesitant look.

"I was…busy." Peyton answered. She had her arms wrapped around herself, and she sat quietly on the edge of her bed. They way she looked and the way she moved, spelled it all out.

"You went to see Jake." Brooke sighed, wishing she would have realized this early enough to stop her. Brooke had never seen Peyton looking so depressed and almost… ashamed.



Peyton nodded, and shivered. "Peyton, are you okay?" Brooke asked. She started climbing out of the bed, but Peyton jumped up and backed away from her. "Peyton…" Brooke groaned, shocked and offended.

"I'm fine. I'm going to sleep."She whispered. With all of her clothing still on, she climbed into bed.

"Talk to me, Peyt." Brooke begged her. Again, she moved towards her.

"Don't!" Peyton shouted. Brooke was startled at the loud sound amongst the quiet of the dorms. "Just… leave me alone. Please." Brooke gasped, wondering if this is how best friends were in college, or was it just them?

"Why won't you let me help you?" asked Brooke, feeling defeated.

Peyton scoffed silently, but tried to be nice, "It's okay Brooke; I know you mean well but… you do your thing." She looked back and Brooke could tell it was taking a lot for her to act normal.

Confused, Brooke asked, "My thing? What's that?"

"You!" Peyton whispered, climbing into bed with her back to Brooke, "You're Brooke Davis. No worries, no cares in the world. Go party or make out." She muttered, trying to pass it off as a joke, but Brooke sensed the hostility in her voice.

"I don't…" Brooke searched for the words, suddenly feeling like her life had no meaning at all. "I am not that shallow." She sighed, grabbing her sweater and shoes, and leaving the room.

Peyton sat up and stared at her, knowing she had to straighten things out, but being too focused on Jake to even care anymore. It was just Brooke, and she'd get over it, she always did.

The sounds around him were intoxicating; for once in his life everything seemed to be following the right path. Here he was on a Friday night, the smell of Haley's hair still in his nose, on a basketball court, letting his thoughts fade between his dribbles. He knew though, that certain things in his life would never be how he wanted them.

He wished he could see the world through his brother's eyes and Lucas through his. He wished he could find out how Lucas viewed him, and the world they both shared so separately. He was lost in his thoughts as footsteps echoed behind him. He watched as Brooke walked up near him, and sat on the bench. From the moment he met her, he knew her to be so carefree and alive, but tonight she looked different.

She wasn't Brooke, or maybe she was. But this person he sat next to was anything but carefree, and she seemed barely alive. Neither of them spoke at first, they sat there in silence watching the moon on the small lake.



"Having fun?" she finally spoke. She tried to laugh, but it came out in a broken chuckle.

"Yeah, I was." He smiled. He leaned back and looked up at the sky, he wanted to stop himself from smiling, but it felt impossible, everything seemed so right. "What are you doing out around here?" he asked her, he could tell that she wanted to talk about something.

"Peyton is home and she's…" her voice trailed off, "pretty upset, she doesn't want to see anyone."

"Oh?" Nathan responded, the silence was greater and he needed something to say to lighten the tension between them, but Brooke beat him to it.

"How are things with Haley?" she asked. She fell backwards with him, possibly looking at the same stars that he was.

"Good." He breathed, "She's amazing.

Brooke laughed, "Yeah… she's alright." Nathan looked at her and smiled, knowing that it was a big deal for Brooke to be saying such a thing about Haley.

"Glad to see you're coming around." He laughed. Brooke turned on her side and looked at him, and a part of her wished she was Haley. She had never met anyone like Nathan. He was sweet and gorgeous. Sometimes she wondered if she had made her move on him sooner, she'd be the one that he was smiling about.

"So you must like it here, huh?" Brooke asked him, "Getting to spend time with your brother."

Nathan's mood shifted, the thoughts of how things should have been with his brother, was overlapping the way they were. It was like his mind kept flashing these vivid images of the way he wanted things. He could see Lucas out here with him, playing basketball and laughing, but he could also see the way Lucas walked past him like he was a complete stranger, and not his own brother. "I don't spend any time with my brother." Nathan whispered.

"Aww…" Brooke sympathized, "too busy?" she asked.

"Nah…" he plucked at a piece of the long golden grass that had grown up through the picnic table. He noticed how much the color or the grass had changed since he got here. November was folding in on them and he had so much happen already. He had lived so much and died so much.

"The truth is…" he started, not sure why he was opening up to Brooke, "I came here to try and fix things with him. Luke really doesn't like me and I'm trying really hard to change that."

Brooke smiled a little, and noticed a small scar above Nathan's eye. "He likes you, Nathan. All brothers act like they don't like each other but they never really mean it."

"This is different though." Nathan said, he turned and looked at her with his head propped up on his hand. "I was the love child that my father had with my mother, while he was married to Lucas' 

mother." He blurted out. Brooke almost choked on her own breath, beginning to reconsider what she called the drama in her life.

"Oh. Gosh." She barely muttered.

Nathan laughed, used to getting that reaction when he told anyone about his story. "Lucas sort of resents me for it, I guess. He thinks I'm the reason his father wasn't around growing up."

Brooke sighed, "That's terrible. Have you tried to talk to him, tell him that you want a relationship with him?"

Nathan laughed thinking that it sounded so weird to hear anyone ask him about his 'relationship' with another guy. Brooke laughed too, knowing what he was laughing at, and smacked him playfully on the arm. "No." Nathan said underneath his laugh, "he won't give me the chance."

"Everyone thinks I'm a whore." Brooke whispered, lost for words about Nathan's problem. "But they only judge that by what they've seen. They don't know what really goes on, or what I want."

"Not _everyone_ Brooke." Nathan smiled, Brooke wanted to smile back and thank him, but her thoughts were flooded with the words that Peyton threw at her time and time again.

"Peyton does." She whispered.

"What do you want?" Nathan asked with actual interest. Brooke was surprised. He was an athlete, he was good looking and charming, she didn't expect him to be a good listener too, or even a good friend.

"I don't know." She admitted.

"Well…" he tried to keep his tone polite, as not to offend her. "If you don't know what you want you can't expect other people to know."

She nodded, knowing that he was right. "Well I can tell you what I don't want." She drifted into almost complete silence, a comfortable silence that she had barely experienced before. "I don't want to be alone anymore." She looked and he nodded in understanding. Her mind vaguely drifted to Haley, as her eyes met Nathan's. She was apologizing already, for the thoughts that were surrounding her. She may have built a slight relationship with Haley, but that didn't stop her from wanting Nathan. Nathan was looking at her in a way that she had never been looked at before. Brooke wasn't asking for a relationship, but Nathan Scott was like a forbidden fruit that she just needed one taste of.

Nathan bit his lip, and his mind fogged up. He wasn't even aware of what he was doing, but for the time being the old Nathan Scott was back, and he was making his move on the girl. Leaning in her kissed her lips slightly, and it stung. He knew he shouldn't be doing it, he knew it… and his whole body was screaming at him but he did it anyways. He let his hands trail to the back of her neck and pull her in until he was satisfied with the way that her arms wrapped around him. They both laughed a little, knowing that this was going nowhere. But they simply didn't stop.

Haley awoke from another strange dream of Lucas. It wasn't real this time, not a memory but more of a nightmare. She had dreamt that he had been walking away from her, with a terrible look of pain on his face. She kissed his lips and held his hand and then without even trying to keep them together, he simply walked away.

Her heart was pounding with guilt. Had she done that to him? She searched her soul for reasoning but all that she could figure out was that she had pushed him away. She still couldn't say that she loved him, but he still meant everything to her. When did everything become so little? She wanted to be able to tell herself that it was Nathan, he had won her heart over, and though she did have strong feelings for him, he wasn't it. The image of him leaving her drilled into her mind, and her body ached for closure. Was it the age, her family? The dream had made her realize that she had simply cut out a piece of her heart for no reason at all.

Was she stupid? She asked herself. Was she really that dumb? Who was she to decide what happened in their lives? This affected him to. Suddenly she felt like she couldn't breathe. She needed to see him, just to understand why she made the decision she did. Or even to get one last taste of him to decide whether it was really over.

On his front step she felt the wind breeze through her pajamas. She shook, knowing that he was so close as she knocked on his door frantically. She could feel the small drops of mist on her back as the weather seemed so undecided about what it was about to do. Would it rain? Or would the clouds part? Haley sighed, wondering why things were so undecided in this world.

The door opened, interrupting her thoughts. He stood there, rubbing his eyes, and she noticed that he did look older than her. But it wasn't a bad older but a more… mature, older. He looked safe, but instantly confused. As was she. Was she comfortable with the safety of Lucas's arms? Or did she long more for the adventure of being in Nathan's.

His hand dropped to his side as he stared at her, and she still saw it in his eyes. He still loved her, and she still couldn't give that back. But she prayed that she still had the same want in her eyes, because it was still in her heart.

He sighed and gave her the 'you shouldn't be here look.' She could read him so easily, the way he slightly grinned, pleased, but tried to hide it. She knew that he could read her just as well, as she gave him the longing look, and stepped forward.

"What are you doing here?" he whispered. Without thinking, he reached out and put his arm around her waist, pulling her in closer to him.

"I have no idea." She smiled. He leaned in for a moment, wanting to kiss her, but stepped back inside the house, pulling her inside with him. She laughed, thinking they'd finish it inside, but instead he let his body drift from her's and he stood distantly with his arms folded.



"You called this over, Haley." He justified. "You can't expect me to just throw everything else down whenever you feel like dropping by." He ran his hands through his hair in frustration. She stepped closer to him, but he seemed to shift away as if he was about to get burned. "Besides…" he continued, "you're dating my brother."

For a second, Haley was angry. How could he block Nathan out all of his life, and now use him as a reason to not be with her? "Your brother? He's your brother now, when you need a reason to not…" her voice trailed off, to not what? What had she come here to do? "You don't even care about him; he can't be your reason."

Lucas shook his head, "I do care about him. But Haley, what is it that you want? A relationship? Because we both know that it won't work right now. A one night stand? Because that's not enough for me." He seemed just as confused as she did, as he moved forward but still seemed so cautious around her.

"Well, if you don't want a relationship, or a one night stand…" she concluded, "then you don't want anything from me?" she bit her lip to stop it from quivering, how could she be so confused about what she wanted? How could he? She turned to leave, when she felt his hand grab her arm. He turned her around quickly, and smiled his beautiful smile.

"I wouldn't say _that_." He said. "You win." He nodded, and then let his lips fall upon her's. So gently at first, but eventually becoming more sweetly forceful as he poured all of his desire onto her. His arms wrapped behind her knees and lifted her into them, as he carried her into his bedroom.

Why do people make the decisions that they make? Why do the ones who have it all seem to beg someone to take it all away? Why is it that people seem to do things, so out of the character that it makes us angry, wondering why these people have no idea what they want? But the truth is we are in no position to judge. What we consider out of someone's character, may be exactly who they are. We are not to decide what someone else should do, or how confused they should be. Sometimes people are able to make the right decisions, yet other times it takes a lot of wrong decisions to find the right one. Meanwhile, everyone else is supposed to sit there and look pretty, because when we decide that things are moving too fast, others may be deciding that they are the perfect speed. Who cares how confused people are, because all of their bad decisions will clear the path for the right one.


End file.
